In sales, there is a designated procedure in which the one selling must adhere to in order to earn a potential customer’s business.
The first step in selling anything is understanding how to build value - you have a product that you want someone to buy, you present this product to the customer, and try and build a bridge between the customer’s wants and desires and the reason why the customer needs your product.
Building and/or creating value in something is the first step in building any good relationship or rapport with another person.
The question then becomes - how can one build value?
In order for one to create value, you must first be willing to give something of value before you ask anyone to purchase what you are selling.
This could be giving away valuable information, or giving away other free products and services.
When you lead with giving, it creates a boundary of trust between you and someone else.
When someone else feels like they recieved more than they bargained for, it naturally makes them feel better for investing in something.
It is only after you gain someone’s trust through value-add that you can eventually make your call to action.
I see this principle being useful in just about any situation in life.
When you lead with giving, you can eventually position yourself to make your eventual call to action.
One of the biggest problems people run into is not being confident in their call to action.
In other words, people will give and continue to give without ever asking for anything in return.
While this may sound good in theory, it also opens up the door for others to take advantage of you if they know that you will give without asking for anything in return.
We see a lot of this in many relationships these days - one partner gives and continues to give, while the other recieves and offers nothing in return.
Many times people will fail to make their call to action because of fear of rejection.
We naturally become freightened by the idea of someone else telling us “no”, and we never truly establish our own boundaries.
Those who give and fear rejection are commonly referred to today as “people pleasers”.
The people pleaser mindset is rooted deeply in insecurity - wanting others to accept us for what we are able to do for them, instead of accepting us for who we are.
One thing I want to make clear is that nobody truly has to accept us for who we are, but this fear of rejection naturally wants to make people feel liked by others in order to validate to themselves that they have something to offer.
We all have something to offer the world, but a lack of direction or purpose is how we fall into the trap of leading with our own insecurities, instead trying to provide any real genuine value.
Rejection is a natural part of the human experience, and the more we can accept it as such, the more confident we will become in being able to make our call to action.
This holds especially true as a man.
As a man, we must be willing to give and to serve, but also obtain the ability to be firm and confidently make decisions.
The passive man loses respect from his peers due to his desire to please others without holding any of the ground that he stands on.
The overly-aggressive man on the other hand, takes from others as a means of satisfying his own ego.
Like anything, it is a matter of finding balance.
One must be willing to face rejection, but also not be afraid to make their own call to action.