The modern world has done a fantastic job at labeling people as being one thing or another.
If one has certain political views, it makes you part of the left or the right.
If one appreciates traditional masculinity and femininity, you are considered "toxic".
If you don't believe that there are more than two genders, you are considered a bigot.
The list goes on and on...
I have a theory on people and the truth to me is this: it doesn't matter what you believe in, someone is either dumb or they're not - it doesn't matter what you read online, if you are a piece of shit, you are a piece of shit, period.
Some may consider this to be a harsh statement but the reality of it is that I could care less what someone believes in, if they lack respect for themselves or lack respect for others, they serve no purpose to me.
If someone thinks I am toxic because I believe in traditional masculine/feminine roles, and because I think men should be strong and be capable of having a family and doing everything in their power to protect and provide for them, then congratulations because you just earned yourself a one-way ticket to being an idiot the rest of your life.
The way I see it is that it doesn't matter how far lost humanity has gotten in this newly-found consumer culture that we all live in, the traditional masculine/feminine roles is the one model that has stood the test of time and has worked the longest throughout our entire human existence.
The ONLY reason why we have made it this far as a species is by men being men and women being women, period.
Yes, the world changes and the way we operate within the world changes, but what biologically works, works.
The idea of having multiple genders, or "toxic masculinity", or women being independent from men is all a result of one thing, men failing to be men.
"Toxic masculinity" does not exist to me the way it exists to many out there.
Many believe that men who wish to be strong and act like real men are toxic but the truth is, there is no "toxic masculinity", there is only toxic behavior.
If we are going to label masculinity as being toxic, then I would argue masculinity by today's standards as being toxic.
The idea that it is okay for men to be soft and be in their feelings is toxic.
Passive men are toxic.
What I find interesting is that people would argue that my previous statement as "toxic masculinity" because I do not fall in-line with modern day political correctness in believing that men should be soft and in their feelings.
There is ONLY toxic behavior and both men and women are guilty of it.
Gaslighting is toxic.
Flaking is toxic.
Seeking attention from multiple people of the opposite sex is toxic.
I believe everyone has experienced toxic behavior to one degree or another in their lives.
What I believe separates someone from being toxic and not being toxic is being able to identify one's own toxic traits and focus on fixing them so that they do not become consumed by their own shitty behavior.
When it comes to dating and relationships in the modern world, most people only experience toxicity from others, even if they themselves believe their intentions are pure.
I have experienced toxic behavior from many women in my life and I realize now that I am older that I needed to have those experiences to develop boundaries for myself as a man.
This does not go without mentioning that my toxic trait is naturally seeking out women that are toxic themselves and this is part of the reason why I have become extremely picky with who I choose to give my time and attention to.
I am at a point in my life now where having peace of mind is the most valuable quality that I will seek out from a woman because I have learned to find peace in being alone.
I have learned that it does not matter how hard you try, you cannot save someone from themselves if they do not wish to be saved.
I have come to the realization that in order for someone to truly find someone genuine to be with romantically, they must first work on becoming a better version of themselves before anyone else can come in and bring their true best out of them.
One must first take action themselves, take accountability for their actions, and develop a base line of self-respect before anyone else is going to come in and provide you with any genuine value.
Knowing when to say "no" is how one develops self-respect.
Having a set of morals and boundaries is how one develops self-respect.
Understanding that every relationship is a matter of having an equal exchange of value is how one develops self-respect.
It is not a mans job to save a woman from herself if all she has ever experienced was toxic men in her past.
The reality of it is that most women want a good man that respects them and treats them like a lady, but if all they have ever had was toxic men treat them like shit in their past, they will naturally seek that out and get bored of the man that treats her like a lady.
Unless she has done the self-work to take accountability for her past and work on turning her weaknesses into strengths, a good man will not fill that void unless she is willing to work on filing it herself first.
For men, this same rule applies although slightly different.
Men must be motivated for something greater if they are ever going to find true purpose in their lives and it is a mans job to be purpose driven.
No woman on Earth should be held responsible for getting her man motivated to go out and be a productive man to society.
It is a mans duty and responsibility to hold himself accountable, work on turning his weaknesses into strengths, and to find a purpose in which gets him out of bed everyday.
The truth is, the right person can only add to your life if you are willing to work on becoming the person you wish to become.
It is no ones job to try and save someone who cannot be saved.
The only thing we can do is continue to work to become someone that brings genuine value to others and focus on being able to attract people that bring an equal exchange of value.