I find it quite interesting the amount of people struggling to date in the modern day culture.
While I personally have had my fair share of shitty dating experiences, I can say with 100% confidence that I am grateful for every single experience.
It's almost impossible to not have at least one bad experience dating in our lives.
What I find interesting is that the poor experiences also teach you the greatest lessons.
Half of the reason I write about what I write about here at Playboy Ranchin' is because of the things that I have learned over the course of my life.
The other half is to be able to create topics of discussion for you, the reader, and provide you with another perspective on these different topics so that you can formulate your own opinions.
I often find dating to be a large problem for a majority of people out there, which opens the door for people like me who have experienced enough in my life to try and be able to help people solve their problem.
While some things may be controversial and uncomfortable to some, these are the types of conversations people should be having.
You should be having uncomfortable conversations with yourself as to why you do not have the things that you want in your life, especially with finding a partner.
People are often completely unaware that the reason they cannot find the person they are looking for is because they choose not to.
It is just that - a choice.
You choose your same bad behaviors that do not get you the results you are looking for.
You choose if you want to be desperate.
You choose to allow yourself to be overly accessible.
You choose to waste your own time on dating apps.
The point of the matter is, everything that we are in life is a choice.
Every good, every bad, every wrong, every right, are all choices that we make in our lives and this is why God gave us the power of critical thought - so that we can make choices, learn from them, and be able to adapt to the environment around us.
We all have the choice to be who we want to be in our lives and we get to choose just how we wish to live them.
Half of people's problems can be solved simply by making different choices.
Different choices leads to different behaviors, which leads to different results, which leads to lessons learned.
If you're single and looking for love, meanwhile have been going crazy on dating apps for dopamine hits for years, you are choosing the path of desperation and you continue to choose that path every single day that you feed your mind with the same bullshit.
If you are still holding onto a toxic ex that for whatever you reason you still keep bringing back into the picture, you are choosing your own misery and you continue to choose misery every single time you take action in bringing them back into your life.
As I have said in previous blogs - life is always going to be hard, but we get to choose our hard.
Take the path of least resistance and continue choosing a life of desperation and anxiety - which is hard.
Or, take the path of working to better yourself, to make yourself strong and confident so that you can actually have the things you are looking for in life - which is also hard.
If you are single and truly ready to find a person that you actually want to be with, then you need to ask yourself one question: would you date you?
This is an honest question because at first, I am sure everyone is thinking "hell yeah I would date me! I am a great person!"
But what I am saying is actually think about the question.
If you are a woman who is desperate to find love, would you want to date you if you were desperate?
If you are a man who is addicted to watching porn, would you want to date you knowing that the person you are with is addicted to porn and can't even get off without an unrealistic fantasy?
I would even take this question a step further and ask yourselves: if you were to have children, would you want them to date someone like you?
If you are a woman who is desperate to find love, would you want your son to grow up and date a woman who is also desperate to find love?
My guess would be probably not because why would you want your son, who you love, to be out in the world dating women who are just trying to get attention from as many men as they possibly can because they are addicted to it.
If you are a man that is weak and gives into his sexual desires, would you want your daughter to date a man that also gives in to his sexual desires?
The answer to this question is ABSOLUTELY NOT because why would you want your little girl out on the world dating predators and shitty men that are going to end up rejecting her and cheating on her?
The reality of it is, most people out there need to take a look in the mirror and truly ask themselves if they would even date themselves given their behavior and the things they have chosen to do throughout the course their lives.
If you are a man who would rather sit at home, play video games, and jerk off to porn, why would you think any woman would be coming to beat your door down to be with you?
If a woman is going to choose to be with a man, it's because she wants a man, not a weak little soy boy who is addicted to porn, looking at promiscuous women online, and can't control his feelings.
If you are a woman who is promiscuous and have had a lot of men in your past, why do you think a man who is confident and driven to make a good life for himself would choose to be with you over a woman who hasn't been with any men and isn't addicted to seeking male validation?
If a man is going to choose to be with a woman to add to his life, he is going to want to know she is capable of commitment, not seeking attention.
These are very uncomfortable subjects for most people but it is exactly why it needs to be talked about.
I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't matter how good you are to someone, if they cannot choose the path to better themselves, you are NEVER going to make them better.
To the men out there, you have to understand that you aren't just going to wake up one day and become strong, confident, and capable.
Men have to wake up every single day and make commitments to themselves to be a better man in every single area of their lives so that they can actually have something to offer a woman.
To the women out there, you have to understand that your past isn't going to erase itself and no man is ever going to be able to save you from it.
Women have to wake up everyday and make commitments to themselves to learn how to deal with their own insecurities on deep enough level so that they can focus on how to build confidence and what it takes to be a lady, not be a woman of her past.
The only way a woman becomes accepting of what she is looking for is by building that confidence herself so that she can attract a man that is also confident.
You must understand that confident men are not going to accept bad behavior.
Confident men are not going to allow you be accessible to other men via social media, dating apps, or having a bunch of male friends.
Confident men are secure men that know their place in the relationship and are willing to walk away at the first sign of disrespect.
The only way a man becomes accepting of what he is looking for is by going through enough pain to use it as fuel to become the strongest possible version of himself.
The way a man becomes confident is by making commitments to himself everyday and lives up to those commitments.
A man needs to become a man of his word and be who the fuck he says he is, and do everything that he does well.
As a man, you must learn to be stoic, control your emotions and simplest desires, not give in to short-term pleasures, and plan and work on building the life you actually want for yourself.
I believe the only way a man finds a woman who will be able to add to his life is by focusing on becoming the best possible man that he can become.
Only then will a woman be able to look at him and want to actually add value to his life, instead of only thinking about what he can do for her.
The solutions to peoples problems are out there, but you must be willing to sit and ask yourselves if you would even want to be someone like you.
If you wouldn't want your own children to date someone like you, then you have the solution to your problem and that solution is to change the things that you do for the betterment of yourself, and those you hope to provide genuine value to in the future.