While it may be contrversial by today’s standards, I believe it is important for both men and women to understand how we work, how we think, and how we operate.
Today, we are going to talk about a touchy subject, especially for women.
With that being said, I think it is important for everyone to be made aware as to how men think, what we think about, and our selection process when it comes to choosing women.
Oftentimes when it comes to a man choosing a woman to bring into his life, there are multiple different variables that he takes into consideration before being willing to give a woman his time and attention.
For some men, all it takes is for a woman to bat an eyelash at him and he’s foaming at the mouth like a rat with rabies.
For other men, they will often seek out a woman purely for sex, lust, and pleasure.
But what about the good men?
The men that all women are talking about - what every woman wants.
What are the confident, purpose-driven men looking at when it comes to choosing the right partner to bring into his life?
One of the biggest factors men look at when it comes to accepting a woman into his life is he is naturally going to take an interest in that woman’s past history.
He is going to want to know what she has been through, how many men she has been with, what her dating life has been like, and just try and understand more about where she comes from and what makes her who she is.
I have spoken before about men taking more interest in a woman’s past the same way a woman takes more interest in a man’s future.
If you ever recall sitting down with someone on the first date, a man typically asks questions along the lines of “where do you come from?”, “what is your family like?”, “tell me about yourself and where you come from!” etc.
Whereas, a woman on the first date is always asking questions about a man’s future - “where do you see yourself in five years?”, “what are your goals and ambitions?”, “do you want kids?” etc.
There is biological reasoning behind this because a woman naturally wants to know if a man is driven and capable of potentially being able to protect and provide of her, while a man wants to know if a woman is capable of commitment - it is in our nature.
As I just mentioned, there is a reason as to why men are always going to take more interest in a woman’s past because he wants to know if she is capable of commitment.
It is without question that most women today have past history with men - whether it is not having a loving childhood, serial dating one man after another, or having many sexual partners, etc.
When a woman has had many experiences with men, regardless of the circumstances, it oftentimes impairs her ability to pair bond with one man.
There is psychological and biological reasoning behind this.
The biology behind it is that women are biologically hardwired to seek attention out from a man. From an evolutionary persepctive, that one man is her best chance at survival.
The problem is, when women have sought out and continue to seek out attention from men, it becomes a subconscious addiction.
This is oftentimes why you see women with promiscuous pasts either single, or just settling for what they can get later on in life.
Now, im not saying this to be offensive, but let’s look at why this is.
We often associate promiscuity with sex - whether it is having many sexual partners, selling sex or your body for monetary gain etc.
Promiscuity in its most raw form is an addiction to attention - this is something that both men and women are guilty of.
Overly promiscuous men become addicted to gaining attention from women because men are hardwired to procreate, it doesn’t matter with how many women.
Overly promiscuous women become addicted to getting attention and seeking validation from men because it is in their biology to seek attention from a man.
However, the problem that most women face is that subconscious addiction never truly goes away - this is the psychological component.
A woman with an overly promiscuous past could be with a man and still seek that attention out from another men, whether it is through a text message or DM on social media, seeing an attractive man out in public, being friends with a bunch of men/ex-boyfriends etc.
The point is, the more a woman has been made accessible to men in her past, the less capable she is of being able to biologically pair bond with one single man in her future.
This is something that men take into high consideration when choosing a woman to bring into his life because men want to know if she is capable of actually being able to commit to him, or if she is going to end up continuing to seek validation and entertain other men.
Past trauma plays an entirely different effect on the female brain then the male brain.
Trauma naturally brings out more masculine traits and qualities - i.e. being defensive, being independent etc.
Trauma for men is what makes men into good men if they do the work to build themselves into becoming strong and capable men.
However, if a man doesn’t do the work to become strong and capable, he can become highly destructive.
If a man cannot practice self-control and have any sense of discipline, he will become destructive to everyone and everything around him.
This is why when it comes to women choosing the right man, it is important to see how committed he is to the things that he does.
A man in full doesn’t need to make $1million per year, but if a man is driven by something and he is good at what he does and everything that he does, he is a man of commitment.
If a man is only committed to things that are conveniant for him, then this is a clear red flag for a woman to cut ties and move on.
But, back to what we were talking about previously.
Part of the reason why men value younger women is because of the lack of trauma and life experience they have had in their lives.
Less men, less trauma, and less life experience means higher probability for being able to pair bond, marry, and stay married - there are scientific studies to back this claim.
The more trauma a woman has been through, the less she will naturally have to offer a man because trauma creates emotional responses and being that women are emotional beings, those emotions don’t just go away.
This is oftentimes why women with traumatic pasts will either end up settling for what they can get, or end up single later in life because it is a failure of being able to deal with their insecurities.
Now, before it sounds like I am just trying to beat women up, I would just like to make it clear that the reason why women have been failed by so many men is because of a men’s lack of commitment collectively for being real men.
A woman that has had a traumatic childhood will oftentimes find herself going through a continous loop of being rejected by shitty, insecure men.
Women oftentimes fail to realize that the reason they attract insecure men is because they themselves are insecure about things that have happened to them in their past.
Women have a much harder time figuring out how to cope with their feelings and their emotions then men do.
As a man, we are taught to internalize our feelings to not show weakness.
As a man, I have learned as I have gotten older that the world truly does not give a single bit of a fuck about our feelings, so why should I?
As men, we have to be able to learn how to control our feelings, practice self-control, become strong and confident so that we do not become destructive humans and we can actually go out and provide value to the world.
Women have a much harder time in doing this because they are not hardwired the way men are to have to cope with this level of emotional pain and trauma.
Women preserve their value through exclusivity and not being accessible to other men.
Once a woman starts to become accessible to multiple men, her value begins to decline, trauma and insecurities begin to build, and she will often find herself in a continuous loop that she has no idea how to get out of.
I have seen this many times in my life through first-hand experience.
I have seen what being addicted to attention does to women at all ages.
What I have found is that the older she is, the more set in her ways she is and the harder it is for her to take action in solving the problem.
Now, to me, this doesn’t mean that because a woman has had a traumatic past that she doesn’t deserve to have someone good in their life - it is just going to take a lot of work on her end to climb up that mountain and figure out what it is going to take to relieve herself from her past.
This means that women who have experienced past emotional trauma, now need to follow the path of men to self-improvement.
A woman needs to dig deep within herself to build up her own confidence.
Many women in this position often think that a man will just walk into their lives and solve all of their problems and this is highly unrealistic.
No man is ever going to be able to walk into a woman’s life and solve all of her personal problems unless she is able to fix them herself.
There are many people out there that believe there is no helping a woman with a traumatic past.
Part of me belives this to be true based off of my experiences with women with past trauma, but there is also a part of me that believes that anyone can do anything if they are willing to change their mindset, the way they behave, and focus on productivity.
If a woman could genuinely focus on things that make her valuable at being a woman instead of letting her past and her insecurities control her life, then I believe she is capable of being able to be accepting of something genuine from a man.
The thing is, everyone wants the same thing on paper.
Everyone wants the loyal partner to build a family with and have a white picket fence and all of the bullshit.
But the reality of it is, nobody wants to do the work.
Men have become incredibly weak and lack purpose, meanwhile we continue to contribute to problems that women face by treating them like options instead of treating them like women.
Both men and women in today’s day in age need to work on themselves to be capable of bringing genuine value to others.
Having a pretty face and a good body is never going to be good enough ladies, you need to do the work on yourself, build real confidence, hold yourselves accountable, and have some self-respect.
The only way you attract anyone that is confident and going to respect you is by becoming confident and respecting yourself first.
I know there are women out there that feel helpless and my goal here is to try and help make you aware of the situation, why men think the way that we do, and try and help provide you with solutions to fix the problem you are having.
The first step in fixing any problem is being able to identify the problem and where it comes from.
Next, we think of ways to counteract the problem through different changes of behavior, until we reach a destination that works for you.
Too many women find themselves just settling for what they can get and often reflect later in life on the man they wish they had - “the one that got away.”
I have found this to be true through my thousands of interactions with women.
Many women oftentimes think later in life about the man that impacted them the most and what life would have been like with him, instead of the man she ended up with.
The point of this post was not to make women feel bad, but to provide context as to how men think and what goes through our minds when choosing the right woman to be with.
I personally have never been one to hold a woman’s past against her and anything a woman tells me in confidence, I will take with me to the grave.
I have seen it all, I have experienced it all, and I am trying to develop ways to help women become more confident, relieve themselves of their past, and help young men understand how women work, how we need to act and behave, and how important it is to become strong and confident so that future generations of women do not have to go through the same situations that our current generation of women have experienced.
We start to fix this problem by teaching young men how to be and act like men, how to treat women with respect, and how to be strong mentally, physically, and emotionally so that he can be capable of protecting a woman.
I want everyone here at Playboy Ranchin’ to become strong, confident, and purposeful beings.
It is incredibly important that a woman learns to face her insecurities and work to develop them into strengths - this is how one creates value.
Ladies, do the work, build the confidence that you need, and choose a man that you can open up the depths of your soul to.
Your past will always come back to haunt you if you cannot learn how to change your behavior and deal with your insecurities.
This also doesn’t mean that you use a man as a security blanket either - this is something that men need to become highly aware of also.
Part of building confidence is holding yourself accountable for mistakes you have made and this is something that men find extremely attractive.
You can call me a Captain Save-A-Hoe all you want, I believe everyone deserves a shot at being able to conquer their own minds for the betterment of themselves, and those around them.