Focus is an extremely powerful tool of the conscious and subconscious mind.
Being able to have strong focus can be extremely beneficial, or extremely harmful.
If you focus on the right things, you can make a pretty good life for yourself and have whatever you want in life.
If you focus on bad things, you oftentimes find yourself living a life of sadness and anxiety, wishing you had what other people had.
We know by now that energy is magnetic and as I say in almost every single post - you attract what you put out.
When you really take a step back and try and look at your life objectively, you really begin to understand why you attract the things that you do, the people, the stress, etc.
The problem most people have is that they lack the ability to have a fully personal, introspective encounter with themselves.
Sure people might realize that something is wrong in their lives and they try and focus on things that will make it better by telling themselves they deserve more, but the reality of it is, if you take no action, you get no results.
We can all sit here and shout affirmations at ourselves everyday to try and make our situation better, but until you can get your body up to par with your mind, you aren't going to achieve anything you are looking to achieve.
I see many people today struggling in their personal lives and often end up complaining - "I don't understand why I can't find the right man", "I don't understand why there are no good women", "I don't understand..."
Right off the bat when I hear someone say something like this to me, I immediately understand why you are unhappy in your current position.
To me, it is obvious that the reason you are in the position you are in is because you are not focusing on the right things.
You are focusing on your current state of unhappiness instead of focusing on how to fix your problem.
The thing is, I understand because I still feel this way sometimes in my life - often asking myself what I am doing wrong.
But like anything, all answers can be found in working to better yourself in every single way possible - for men and for women.
I see people struggling to find a good partner to be in a relationship with and oftentimes find them being highly insecure because they can't find the person they are looking for, or they realize that they just settled for what made sense to them at one point in time and no longer makes sense to them.
When I see people struggling to find a partner, it is clear to me they are more focused on their insecurities than they are providing value.
This is why dating in the modern culture has programmed us to fail.
We live in an attention driven economy and between things like social media and dating apps, people are constantly focused on the things that feed their insecurities, instead of the things that make them valuable and of substance.
You all already know that I do not like dating apps by now.
Dating apps are the root of most people's problems because people have convinced themselves that the world is changing and they feel hopeless being able to go out into the world and find someone authentically.
While it is true that the world is changing, trying to find the love of your life on an app that is designed to provide people with dopamine spikes by swiping on a shit ton of people because it makes them feel good to know they have "options", is absolute idiocy.
The reason why hook up culture is so prominent now is because everyone is so easily accessible.
Women are more easily accessible than ever before, having access to thousands and even millions of men in some cases.
All this does for a woman is shut her down emotionally and close her off from being able to feel something genuine from a man.
She soon becomes addicted to the attention and has absolutely no focus on anything that she could actually bring to the table for another man.
This is extremely problematic for women because women that are promiscuous and become addicted to male attention, often suffer the most.
A woman that is addicted to seeking male validation isn't thinking about being a wife, she is thinking about wanting a husband, or finding a boy toy.
When a woman is desperate to find a man, all she does is continue to feed her insecurities and lose sight of being a woman and providing real value.
For men, much of this works the same.
When men become addicted to things like dating apps, porn, or finding promiscuous women, all he does is close himself off from finding a woman that is genuine.
Men today are weak enough to be controlled by sex and this is often why things like porn and promiscuous female models online are so prominent in our culture.
Sex is a simple desire for men and if he cannot control that simplest desire, he will forever find himself trying to feed his own insecurities.
If all a man thinks about is sex or how he can fulfill his sexual desires, he will lose sight of everything in life that actually matters.
This is why self-control and emotional control is so important for men to have.
Men that lack this self-control are the one's giving the most attention to the promiscuous women online today.
Men that lack self-control are on dating apps because they are looking for attention and sex from women.
Men that lack self-control are not focused on building themselves into men of full - committed to everything that they do.
The point that I am trying to make in this post is that most people today are simply focused on the wrong things and the often get the results that they get as a result of focusing on the wrong things.
Ladies, if you are looking for the man of your dreams, get off of the dating apps and start focusing on things that make you a strong feminine woman.
Stop trying to feed your insecurities because you are addicted to the attention.
The only way you curb an addiction is by supplementing it with more productive behavior.
I want you to actually sit and think about what I am saying here.
Being easily accessible to other men is going to continue to feed your insecurities and you will never find the man you are looking for - it will only attract more insecure men.
You have to change the way that you do things to get different results and it starts with what you focus on.
If all you do is focus on the fact that you can't find a good man yet you're out here craving attention from men, you will never find a good man.
A good man will be completely foreign to you if all you are focused on is feeding your insecurities instead of focusing on how to actually add value as a woman.
Gentlemen, you already know what I am going to say...
If you guys are not doing everything in your power to become the strongest possible versions of yourselves, you will settle for mediocrity, if not worse.
You must be able to resist your simplest desires, not give in to short-term gratification, and continue to do the work regardless of how you feel to be a man that is worth respecting.
If you want a woman to respect you, you must be willing to go through the fire to earn that respect for yourself.
Take care of yourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally so that one day when you do meet that woman that is right for you, you will be prepared to crawl across a field of broken glass with a smile for her.
Men need to feel strong and feel capable.
Get off of the dating apps, get off of porn, resist the promiscuous women online, and focus on things that are actually worth your time - things that make you strong.
Always be trying to learn new things, whether it is a skill or it is knowledge and figure out how to leverage yourselves to be stronger and more capable than you were the day before.
I believe everyone tuning in to our blogs inherently knows what they should be doing.
People inherently know that they need to work on themselves to become better and more confident, but people still choose not to do it.
Women that have experienced trauma know they have trauma, know the source of their trauma, and often find themselves living in the same continuous loop because they do nothing to fix their behavior.
Men that lack self-control end up losing sight of everything that makes them good men because they would rather give in to pleasure and short-term desires than to actually go out into the world and be men.
It is incredibly important for those of you reading this to become aware of your thoughts and even more-so your actions.
You HAVE to become aware of what you focus on and if your behavior is actually fixing your problem, or contributing to your problem.
Oftentimes, people will get the two confused and genuinely believe their behavior is fixing their problem, yet nothing changes - this is ignorance at its finest.
It is simple, if you are unhappy because you do not have what you want, then your behavior needs to change!
You must also learn to respect your own time.
People no longer respect their own time because they are willing to give it to anyone who gives them attention - this is big problem that people face, especially women.
If you cannot respect your own time, you are never going to attract people that respect your time either.
If you often find yourselves unhappy in your current situation, your focus and priorities are out of line, and more often than not, your behavior will reflect your priorities and continue to contribute to your problem.