People are oftentimes conflicted when it comes to making the best decision for themselves.
On one hand, you think there is a chance you may be able to salvage something that is already broken and on the other, you have to be able to completely let it go and allow the universe to do its thing.
These are hard conversations one has to have with oneself.
People inherently know when they are supposed to let go of something and still choose not to as a result of their own ego.
I believe that inherent feeling is partially a defense mechanism to protect the self from anymore trauma, and partially from having a baseline of morality.
People know when they are doing something they shouldn't be doing and yet, we still oftentimes find ourselves doing them anyway.
So, the real question then becomes: when is it time to let go?
When is it time to make the hard decision that you don't want to make but inherently know that you should make?
I do not believe there is a true timeline as to when you are supposed to make the hard decision. Some things are situational and require a deeper sense of logical thought.
With that being said, what makes the most sense, makes the most sense.
Choosing to stay with someone because it is familiar to you even though you know the person is toxic, doesn't make any sense, regardless of how you try and convince yourself otherwise.
Giving someone attention who doesn't want anything else from you, doesn't make any sense, regardless of how you try to convince yourself otherwise.
Sometimes, you must make the hard decision to let go because you know that you yourself are causing a problem for someone else.
Part of being able to let go of something reflects deeper levels of self-accountability and self-respect, two concepts we have talked previously about in length.
The reason why I bring up accountability and respect so much is because these two traits are the baseline of self-mastery.
One must be able to analyze their situation and get to the root of the problem in order to fix it, even if you yourself are the problem.
It does not go without mentioning that in order to move forward, you must be able to let go of your past - this is the hardest thing for most people to do.
If you go back to our previous blog post "Letting Go Of Your Ego", you will understand that your ego is oftentimes what keeps you from being able to make the difficult decisions, especially when it comes to your past.
Part of achieving self-mastery is to be able to look at your past, understand how the things that happened to you in your past effect who you are in the future if you cannot learn to identify them and control them.
Some people allow their past to fuel them for a successful future but I would argue that most allow their past to negatively effect their future.
Most people with relationship trauma cannot get to the bottom of why they continue to attract bad people for relationships.
The problem with relationship trauma is that most people that attract toxic people romantically, crave the toxicity, even though they consciously believe they want and deserve something genuine.
When all you have done is attract toxic people, you yourself become toxic and you end up craving that attention - I know this from personal experience.
I have dated women with toxic pasts and childhood male trauma - they never last because they don't know what it is like to feel something genuine and often end up seeking out toxicity from another partner.
I realize that I attract these kinds of toxic women because I like the idea of being able to provide something genuine to a woman who has never had it - this almost always has ended up biting me in the ass.
Now that I am older and have reflected on my past decisions, I am able to realize that I was the problem for ever putting myself in positions I should not have put myself in.
I have been able to analyze everything that I have done wrong and have been able to fully let go of my past decisions so that I can focus on moving forward.
This is why I am the way that I am now in terms of being highly selective with who I choose to spend my time with.
The point of this post is for people to begin being able to recognize when to let go of things that serve them no purpose and hinder their ability to grow.
Growth begins with self-mastery and to master the self, takes a lot of hard and consistent work.
You must be able to have difficult conversations with yourself, let go of your past and things that serve you no value, and make the difficult decisions if you plan on ever being able to move forward.