If I were to ask you to describe loyalty in your own words, how would you describe it?
Like many things, I believe loyalty is one word that everyone has their own definition for.
While we all have our own experiences and our own realities, I believe there is only one true way to define loyalty: a true ride or die.
Someone that is willing to ride with you and die for you is the true meaning of loyalty, in my opinion.
Having the utmost respect for someone else, never turning your back on them, keeping it real with them, and respecting their peace.
Respect is a fundamental building block for loyalty - you can't have loyalty without respect.
When it comes to loyal friendships, there is a mutual understanding that we respect one another, we never turn our backs on one another, and we are ready to go to battle for one another at any minute of any given day.
When it comes to loyalty in relationships is where everyone's perspective gets skewed.
Some people will believe that just because they aren't actively sleeping with other people while they are in a relationship that this means they are loyal.
This is an exceptionally immature point of view in my opinion and the reason I say that is because I once thought the same thing.
Especially given the fact that my life revolved around getting attention from other women at one point, I used to think "well, if I am not sleeping with this girl or messaging her anything inappropriate, that's not cheating."
All I can say is that I was a fucking idiot for ever thinking this way and it just goes to show that you become what you surround yourself with.
I was young and dumb at this point in my life and I was going through a major transitional period with just having moved to Las Vegas, the capital of degeneracy.
The point is, just because you aren't physically giving yourself to someone else, doesn't mean you are loyal.
As soon as you entertain or become accessible to someone that you shouldn't be, loyalty is off the table, respect is off the table, and now trust is in jeopardy.
This is often why being "friends" with exes or past partners is an immediate red flag - especially for men.
Part of emotional maturity and having self-respect is being able to leave your past in the past - this means exes and past partners are off of the table.
When it comes to men, oftentimes, I believe we are misunderstood.
When a woman hears that a man doesn't like that a woman is friends with a bunch of men or friends with exes and men she used to talk to, they mistake it as being "insecure" when the reality is the complete opposite - it is about respect.
What many women don't realize is that who she decides to be friends with will say a lot about her.
If a woman is friends with a bunch of girls that are jealous of her and talk shit about her behind her back, or try and bring her down, then these friends don't have her genuine best interests at heart - these are not loyal ride or dies.
When a woman is friends with a bunch of men, she is often unaware that not every man she is friends with will have pure intentions.
I have spoken many times about the importance of having pure intentions when it comes to surrounding yourself with people who genuinely want to see you win in life.
I am at a point in my life where I ONLY want to surround myself with people that want to see me win. If my woman is surrounded by people that don't have pure intentions and don't want to see her win, they wont want to see me win and I wont have time to be around these people.
Not every man that a girl is "friends" with is going to have her best interest at heart.
Oftentimes, men will be "friends" with a woman and be waiting for their chance to get in her pants and this is something that women often overlook, especially if she is an attractive woman.
While in her mind it might be "oh, he is just a friend", I can assure you this isn't the case with most men.
If you think I am lying, here is an experiment for the ladies: go message your guy friends, whether they have girlfriends, married or not, and ask them to hang out alone so you can hook up and see how many of them agree to it.
The point is, not every man a woman is friends with has pure intentions and has her genuine best interests at heart.
Plus, men are manipulative and will often tell a woman everything she wants to hear.
If shit hits the fan between my girl and I in a relationship and she goes running to her male "best friend", a man that supposedly knows her better than I do, what is he going to say to her?
Is he going to tell her to talk through it with me or is he going to tell her some bullshit that she wants to hear?
Men will often see a woman that is friends with a bunch of men as a red flag, especially if it is her exes or past partners because the only man's opinion that should truly matter is her man's opinion.
If she has had an emotional connection to other men, the last thing her man is going to be thinking is "wow, it's so great she is so close to a man she used to be in love with."
The truth is, I have been with women who have nothing but guy friends and I know where that road leads - constant seeking of approval.
When it comes to men being friends with girls, it is much of the very same thing.
There is absolutely no reason for a man to be friends with an ex or women that he has been with when it comes to being in a relationship.
It's like his woman expressing that him liking other girls bikini photos on Instagram makes her uncomfortable and he sits there and justifies as "oh, she is just my friend."
If a woman is expressing something that makes her insecure and you disregard it because you would rather be a child and a degenerate giving attention to women who don't give a fuck about you, you are an asshole!
I say this passionately because I myself, have had to learn from this mistake the hard way.
I have been in a relationship and liked other girls Instagram photos and talked to girls I didn't know and shouldn't have been talking to, got caught, and blew it off like it wasn't a big deal like a fucking idiot.
If a woman is expressing an insecurity and you blow it off, you are refusing to listen to her and at the end of the day, a woman just wants to be heard - especially if she has more insecurities than the average woman.
Men being friends with women or friends with exes should be a red flag because at the end of the day, there are very few women that would be able to give a man that ride or die support that he gets from his boys.
I am not saying its impossible because there are some rare cases, but if there is any sort of physical or emotional attraction, then the friendship is compromised.
I am at a point now where it doesn't matter how pretty a girl is, if there is attraction then I wont just be "friends" with her.
Sure, there can be friendliness by being acquaintances, but if we at any point were attracted to one another or had a fling, we will never be true friends.
Eventually she will be in a relationship or I will be in a relationship and we will cease to exist to one another just out of respect for her and her or my relationship with someone else.
Unless she wants to ride for me and I die for her, I want no part of it - respectfully.
Real genuine loyalty is being able to respect your partners peace, not make them look stupid.
If you are a man and you do not set these boundaries from the very beginning, then you are to blame if she continues to seek attention from other men.
This also doesn't go without mentioning that if you are going to set the boundaries for a woman to respect you enough to not talk to or be accessible to other men, then you must reciprocate it and do the same by not making yourself accessible to other women - this is a two-way street.
It is okay to have options, but as soon as you act like someone who has options, you have officially lost respect and loyalty.
If your woman is still posting provocative photos online or wearing revealing clothes in public, there is a part of her that is not satisfied with what you give her. Simply put, there is something about you that she does not respect.
This is why it is incredibly important for a man to have boundaries because if you set boundaries and remove yourself when your boundaries are broken, you will protect your peace.
With that being said, part of having boundaries as a man is for you to actually live up to your end of the deal, meaning you reciprocate the same behavior you expect from your woman and actually commit to her and protect her and her peace.
Blatant disrespect is not tolerable on either side and you must be careful to protect your partners peace behind closed doors at all times.
If you are a woman and you respect your mans peace behind closed doors, you don't make yourself accessible to other men, and you fully support him, you then become a woman that a man doesn't want to lose.
Men want respect and men want unquestionable loyalty from a woman.
Women want similar things but they also want to feel wanted by their man and it is a mans duty to make her feel wanted everyday.
If you want to be capable of having true respect and true loyalty, then you must act and do things worthy of receiving true respect and loyalty.