In yesterday's post, we discussed the primary reasons as to why a man take interest in a woman's past history when choosing a woman to share his time with.
I mentioned in yesterday's post about what can happen to a woman if she doesn't do the work to help relieve herself from her past and build her confidence.
Oftentimes, if a woman cannot do the work to improve herself and work through dealing with her trauma, she will eventually end up settling for a man for the sake of stability, or stay single.
Throughout my life, I have had thousands of interactions with women from all over the world, from all different walks of life - many of which were married.
Being as that I used to entertain women for a living, I have seen sides of people that would often make the rational man ever question what the purpose of marriage even really is.
I used to think that I would never get married after the things that I have seen and experienced.
If you are a man and you allow your wife to go on a "girl's trip" to Las Vegas, you my friend, are an idiot!
The point that I am trying to make, and while it may be controversial to some and some may disagree given the quality of standards in today's culture, if a woman at any point is actively entertaining another man, or showing genuine interest in another man, she has officially settled with being married to the man she is with.
I have also spoken to women that are older and have been married longer, who often reflect on their past relationships with other men and think about the one man that made the largest impact on her life, and what her life may have been like if she ended up with him - sometimes, it is not the man she chose to be with.
I have had married women tell me to my face that I remind them of the man they had when they were younger.
I have had married women deliberately tell me that they settled for the man they are with because they have a family together.
I have also had women that are married make conscious efforts to tell me that we should have been together because there is a "connection"...
I think most would be surprised just how many women out there do end up settling for the man that provides them with the most stability and comfortability.
This often begs the question as to why this is?
Most women will tell you that they would rather be with THE man that makes the biggest impact on her and her true soul mate, but the reality is, many women never end up with that man and end up settling for the man that provides them with the most stability.
First, we need to ask ourselves what stability is and what it means in a relationship.
From an objective point of view, stability is exactly what it sounds like: choosing a person that has a balanced lifestyle with consistent behavior.
Now, I believe there are multiple different factors to take into consideration when it comes to a woman that decides to be with a man that is more stable, and less influential.
One reason why a woman would choose stability could be for financial gain.
We live in a world now where being financially secure is becoming of more value to women because women will often associate men with money as being able to provide her with "security."
There is truth to this, but oftentimes, when a woman is solely focused on attracting men with a lot of money, she doesn't realize the price that comes along with it.
I have seen it before many times where a woman will choose to settle down with a man just because he has money and later end up regretting it because the man wasn't the man she needed him to be and she relied too much on his money for the comfortability and stability.
You can pretty much guess what happens to these kinds of women later on down the line when they realize their husbands weren't the men they needed - they seek attention elsewhere, while still being married for the benefits.
I think another reason why a woman would choose stability is because she hasn't done the work on herself to bring herself to a place of genuine peace so that she could be accepting of a man that has something genuine to offer her.
Let's face it, every woman has a past and past emotional trauma created by men, and the reality is women of all ages have experienced trauma from men - even the younger generation.
It is much harder for a woman with a traumatic past to bring herself to a place of peace because women are not hardwired to deal with their emotions the same way that men are.
Oftentimes, women with past trauma will accept stability and what she can get as long as she knows whatever it is, is consistent.
Some women will choose to be with a man solely because she knows that she can manipulate him and get away with things, whether it is with him or behind his back.
Most women just want to have a man there because that is how they are biologically hardwired - for the comfort of just knowing someone is there.
But it often still begs the question as to why she wouldn't choose to be with the man that has the ability to create a genuine impact on her.
Aside from what I just described about women choosing stability, I think we need to look at men and the ability of men to actually be able to make an impact.
I believe most men, especially in the modern day, have progressively become less influential and less impactful over time.
Most men today lack drive and they lack purpose to go out into the world and be useful - not just at one thing, but everything that he does.
A man that is good at everything he does is a man that is useful and a man that is committed - these are the types of men women genuinely find attractive.
All women truly want is a man that is committed, emotionally intelligent, has the ability to listen to her, and have her man make her feel wanted everyday.
As a man, if you understand how attracted women are to commitment, and not just the things that are convenient for you, but everything that you do and that you say you are going to do, you would be surprised at just how much of an impact you can make on a woman's life.
If you commit to her, and you commit to being able to listen to her and learn her emotions, you will make an impact on her life.
You need to be the man that she can confide in for everything.
You need to be the man that she can be her truest authentic self with - the man that knows everything about her.
You need to be a man that never stops learning because you realize that knowledge is power and the only way that anyone will find you as being valuable is by learning as much as you possibly can.
Most men by today's standards settle into their lives.
They settle into their daily routines and their 9-5 jobs because it is stable.
I believe the reason why women will genuinely choose stability is because most men today choose stability.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with people choosing a stable life, but I also believe that is every man's duty to figure out how he can make everyone's lives who rely on him better.
A lot of times when it comes to a woman choosing stability, that man isn't always capable of providing her with the things she actually wants - things like connection, emotional intelligence, genuine intelligence, or the ability to protect her in other ways.
Oftentimes when women reflect later on in life on the one man that did make the biggest impact in their lives, it is the man they either had the strongest emotional/physical connection with, the man that she was able to share the deepest parts of her soul with that knows her better than any other man, or the man that she was able to learn the most from - whether he taught her about herself or about life in general.
What I have found is that oftentimes when we meet these kinds of people, they are often at very fragile or transitionary periods of our lives.
When you are going through major life changes, the person that is there with you through that oftentimes will create an impact on you that you will never be able to truly forget.
I don't think there is anything wrong with people choosing to just settle in life because at the end of the day, it is their choice.
I can't change anyone's life path for them.
All I can do is provide solutions to problems that people are having and be a voice of reason.
As I wrap this up, I just want everyone to think about one thing...
Is settling actually what you want in your life?
As a man, are you comfortable for just settling or do you want to be a man of purpose and a man that creates things and leaves a lasting impact on people's lives?
Ladies, are you okay with just settling because you know your time is coming up and you just want to have a stable life with a family? Or do you want to actually attract and be with the man that you know is THE man for you?
You see, I think the answers to these questions are simple, but it doesn't go without mentioning that we ALL have more work that needs to be done before we can get clear at answering them.