What is maturity?
Maturity is a word that is thrown around a lot, often associated with people that are older and more established in their lives.
While I do believe there is partial truth in that people that are older are more established, I do not believe that makes them "mature."
First, I think we need to ask ourselves what maturity even is as I did at the beginning of this post.
In my experience, I have found that age tends to be just another number and is not directly correlated with one's maturity level.
I have met people in their 30's and 40's, all older than me, and still act like children or lack the ability to make decisions.
I have also met people younger than me that have good heads on their shoulders and do what they need to do to take control of their lives.
When it comes to dating, women typically think that dating older men makes more sense because they are more established and "mature".
However, the problem is that no one actually looks at real signs of maturity.
If you think that because he is older and has money that he is mature, you would be lying to yourself.
The truth is, men do not peak until their later years in life, usually in their 30's, 40', and even into their 50's, while women typically peak younger in their early-mid 20's
So, you take a man that has been working on building himself, building a successful business, building his mind and body etc. he will usually not peak until later in into his 30's and 40's on average.
So what does this mean?
The man that no girl wanted to talk to or that didn't pay any attention to him, are all going to take interest in him after he peaks.
More money, more women, more access.
Women have always dated older for the most part due to this false narrative that just because a man is older and established, he must be more mature.
The reality is, just because a man is older and more established, doesn't make him mature.
His actions, his level of responsibilities, and how a man manages stress are what make him mature.
How a man manages his responsibilities will tell you a lot about him.
A man's ability to balance his responsibilities whether it is running a business and still making time for his wife and children everyday, or he is striving to reach new goals and climb bigger mountains while keeping his mind and body sharp etc.
The point it is, a man that can handle his responsibilities and handle them well, while being able to handle pressure and handle stress will develop his maturity.
A man that is mature also practices self-control to its roots.
There are plenty of successful men in the world that completely lack self-control.
If a man cannot control his emotions/feelings, or be able to have control over his simplest desires, then he will lack maturity.
A man's ability to practice self-control and have control over his emotions will be one that develops emotional maturity and this is something that most women are typically looking for.
If a man cannot control his desires or his emotions, he is never going to be present in a time when a woman is having an emotional breakdown.
Ladies, these are things you must become aware of when dating or entering into a new relationship with a man.
If a man is out seeking pleasure 24/7, he lacks self-control.
If a man is older and doesn't have to do anything except wake up and go to work - no house, no kids, no ex-wife, no things that rely on him etc. then he lacks responsibility.
If a man has no goals, no purpose, and no drive, then he is never going to build himself into a man of full.
On the flip side if a man is highly successful and fails to manage his home responsibilities because he is working all of the time, he will most likely lack the emotional maturity women are looking for.
There will always be trade-offs to some degree because no one is perfect, but finding a man that is stoic, practices self-control to its core, can handle stress, and manage his responsibilities, you will then find a man in full who is driven to not only provide himself with the best life, but provide for everyone who relies on him with the best lives they could ask for.
For women, maturity plays an entirely different role for men.
Truth be told, men do not really care what career field you are in, how successful you are, how much money you have, etc.
What men care about is a woman's natural ability to be authentic, loyal, and be a caregiver.
What makes a woman mature is her ability to be feminine and also practice self-control to its core.
Basically meaning, it doesn't matter what happened to you in your past, if you cannot learn to deal with it, you are never going to develop maturity.
If a woman cannot deal with her past traumas and move on from her past experiences, she is never going to develop self-control or even a baseline of emotional control.
If a woman has been exposed to many men in her past, she is never going to develop the self-control to stay away from men in her future unless she is able to identify the problem and work on fixing it at its core.
What men want is a woman that can control herself and her emotions, regardless of what she has been through in her past.
This takes a lot of work on the females side of things and oftentimes, the older she is, the harder it is for her to be able to develop this level of self-control.
This is why for women also, age is just a number.
It doesn't matter how old you are, how much money you make, etc. if you have not done any work on yourself to build up your confidence and self-esteem, you will always lack self-control and emotional control.
If shit hits the fan and your first initial reaction is to leave and not try to work it out with a man that is able to cater to your needs, then you lack emotional control.
This is also why a woman's past plays such an important role in her future.
A woman's past traumas will leave emotional scars that will stay with her for the rest of her life, unless she learns how to control it.
A woman that is able to control her behavior and her actions is a sign of a mature woman.
Now, I am not saying that you have to go full-blown Rambo when being able to control your emotions the way men do, but if you are a woman then you still need to have control to a degree to understand what it is that is triggering that emotion and be with a man that is also strong enough emotionally to work through it with you.
This is why communication is another important characteristic for a woman to have.
Let's face it, women are emotional creatures and they react more than they think, it is just how they are biologically programmed.
But if a woman can learn how to communicate her feelings, why she is feeling the way she is instead of just saying "fuck you" and walking out, then she will develop maturity by extension.
These are qualities that men find attractive in a woman.
If you have had a traumatic past, you must learn how to deal with those emotions because no man is ever going to be good enough for you if you cannot learn.
If a woman lacks self-control, she is always going to give in to her simplest desires, the same way that men do.
If she is used to getting attention and being accessible to a lot of men, she is always going to be addicted to the attention unless she can do the work on herself and practice self-control.
Like anything, there are levels to one's maturity.
Just because a man is older and has a successful business, doesn't make him more mature than younger men.
Now, if younger men are spending their years partying and being degenerates instead of building themselves into stoic capable men, then they will always lack maturity.
One's values makes them mature.
One's ability to commit to things and live up to their word makes them mature.
Men that are mature want a woman that is capable of commitment and loyalty, not someone who is ready to walk out at the first sign of hardship.
Women want a mature man that is emotionally stable and will listen to her and she is not feeling her best, and also capable of protecting and providing for her.
All men want is a woman that is ready to go to battle with him and be there to support him even at his lowest of lows.
If a woman lacks maturity and is only looking for the man that is already successful and established when she has done nothing to work on herself, she is going to find herself living in a very repetitive cycle of dating insecure men because she herself is insecure.
Whereas if a man lacks maturity and would rather sit there spend his time and his money trying to impress a bunch of women until he is eventually ready to "settle down", he is giving in too much of his simplest desires and will only attract women that want him for one thing.
Everyone wants to be with "the one" but most are not willing to work for it.
If you cannot do the work on yourself to make yourself strong or make yourself confident and build your maturity level physically, mentally, and emotionally, then you are never going to work for the one that could potentially be the best fit for you.