I ran a poll on my Instagram page yesterday asking people what they considered to be a high value man. A common response that I received was, "a loyal protector and provider".
It is to no surprise when I saw this because everyone wants a partner that is loyal - after-all, you are sharing yourself, your body, and your spirit with someone else.
We live in a world today where both men and women are easily accessible on the internet. Men have the ability to sit there and drool over some model's photos on Instagram, while the model has unlimited access to men all competing for her attention.
The problem with today's digital culture, is that everything has become so watered down that no one truly understands the subconscious effects of their own choices.
Both men and women have become desensitized to things we once valued.
It was once a beautiful thing for a man to be able to appreciate the female body - now, men are desensitized to females because of the unlimited amount of porn all over social media.
Men see these extremely attractive women posting in bikinis or half naked on Instagram and that is immediately where their mind goes. Before you know it, they are hooked on watching porn and no real woman can compete with their digital fantasy.
Women on the other hand, have become desensitized to getting attention from men because of all of the attention they receive online.
It becomes a second-hand expectation for an attractive female to get attention from all kinds of men online everyday. The problem with expecting attention from men is that it desensitizes a woman from only wanting attention from one man.
Pretty soon, the attention from the man she has isn't enough and she begins to explore other options.
This is why it is extremely important for both men and women to be aware of what they put out into the universe because what you put out is what you get back.
If men put all of their energy into become a weak little fanboy over women online, they will end up appreciating their woman, or women in person less.
If women put their energy into getting attention from men, they will end up appreciating the attention they receive from their man less.
Imagine how much you would love and appreciate someone if there was no internet and global desensitization...
Men would appreciate and be loyal to women because they wouldn't have all of these other women to look at 24/7.
Women would appreciate and be loyal to men because they wouldn't have unlimited access to men and society influencing them to be somebody they're not.
Now that we have discussed desensitization in modern culture, let's talk about loyalty and how everything ties in together.
True unwavering loyalty is genuinely what everyone wants - men want it from women, women want it from men, men want it from other men etc.
True loyalty first starts with self-respect, and what I find particularly interesting is that people want true loyalty, but do nothing to receive it. What I mean by this is, people want loyalty but do nothing to earn self-respect.
Self-respect is something that takes work and people just want someone to show up and be loyal to them, while doing nothing.
Men earn their self-respect by going through things that are hard to make themselves stronger. In this process, men build their confidence, capability, and respect as a man from himself and his peers.
Women earn their self-respect simply by saying "no" and not giving themselves over to an ungodly amount of men or money just because. Women become stronger as a result of this and become highly desirable by men when they respect themselves to this level and hold themselves to an exceptionally high standard.
It is important to note that women that are promiscuous and lack self-respect, can't hold themselves to a high standard when it comes to men. If you yourself cannot hold yourself to a high standard, you will not attract a man that holds himself to a high standard.
So, when it comes to true genuine loyalty, self-respect is the foundation of every relationship you will have with someone else.
There will be times when someone with zero self-respect will wander into your life and that will be a pivotal learning lesson. Because if you are one that does have self-respect, you will be able to identify their lack of and walk away.
True loyalty comes from people that have your best interests at heart - people you are ready to go to battle with.
This is why it is important for men to have other men around them that they all respect. Men that are ready to go to battle for each other are loyal men and this is something that is extremely important to a man - men want to know that they have other men they can count on, no matter what.
When it comes to a man finding the right woman, the same rules apply. A real man needs a woman that is ready to go to battle with him. A woman that will ride out the lowest of lows so that she can enjoy the highest of highs.
One way a woman shows loyalty to a man is through sexual exclusivity. The idea that she belongs to him and that no other man can have her is the true genuine loyalty that a man seeks from a woman.
I don't mean for this to sound possessive and make women sound like objects, I am simply making a point that this is what a man truly desires from a woman. A man wants to know that no matter what, she will be there for him - period.
This doesn't go without saying that women genuinely seek similar loyalty from a man, and rightfully so. After-all, women breathe life into other humans - the least a man could do is be loyal to her and protect her with his life.
For a man to remain loyal to a woman, it requires a commitment - a commitment to her, and a commitment to himself.
Any man that goes against his commitment to himself, is no real man - he is a coward.
If a man can be loyal to his boys and expect that same loyalty in return, then it is no different making that same promise to a woman. It is a conscious decision that he himself, expects in return.
This is why self-respect is so important whether you are a man, or a woman - people respect people that respect themselves.
A man that respects himself has self-control and can live up to the promises and commitments he makes to his woman.
A woman that respects herself knows her value, practices self-control, and inherently knows what to look for in a man.
Being as that I work with animals for a living, I understand the concept of loyalty extremely well.
Humans were given dogs to show us what unconditional love truly feels like. Everyone that has a dog knows what I am talking about.
Dogs give us unconditional love and unwavering loyalty for their entire existence because they rely on us for survival - it is in their nature.
I have learned working with horses that loyalty and trust must be earned.
Horses are different than dogs because they are working animals and must learn to respect you as a handler and rider through hard work.
Horses have taught me the true meaning of partnership because once a horse learns to trust you, it will be willing to work with you - you cannot buy this kind of loyalty.
To me, the concept of loyalty is simple, but you need to ask yourself if you are taking the necessary steps to become someone respected and worthy of true genuine loyalty.
If you are wrapped up in the desensitized culture, you must be able to identify it and act accordingly if you ever want someone else to put their genuine trust into you.
The partnership between a man and a woman is a beautiful thing once genuine trust is established.
True loyalty only comes through efforts of both parties to respect themselves and each other, and work everyday at strengthening their trust in one another through unconditional love.