I have been through many different stages in my life when it comes to the kinds of women I have been attracted to.
As I get older, I realize that what I am attracted to now is completely different than what I was attracted to in my early 20s.
First, I will start off by saying that there is a major difference between having a physical attraction to someone versus having a mental/emotional attraction to someone.
I think many times, both men and women get caught up in the physical connection that they convince themselves there is a mental and/or emotional connection when they know deep down who they are with doesn't actually compliment their spirit very well.
This is the difference between having chemistry and having a connection. Chemistry is having surface level attraction to another person, while a genuine connection is a connection to something far deeper into who the person really is.
With the world we live in today, everything has become purely physical - between seeing people's pictures online, valuing things like what people do for a living or how much money they make, or how much attention this person gives you etc.
While some of you might disagree, I think more people value things that they see, as opposed to valuing things such as a genuine connection to another person.
I have been all over the spectrum when it comes to dating beautiful and highly desirable women, to dating women that are completely low-key and beautiful in their own ways.
What I have found is that there are very few that actually think about how they can add value to another person and only think about what the other person can do for them.
I have learned as I have gotten older that I value a genuine connection to a woman more than I will ever give two shits about her Instagram following, or what magazines she's been on the cover of, or how many rich dudes are in her DM's.
When things are purely physical, you will only get so far.
To me now, everything is about value-add - how much value can I bring to this person and is this person actually thinking about what value they can bring to me instead of just being a pretty face with a good body.
As I have stated before that when it comes to relationships whether it is with friends, business partners, or romantic partners, everything is about having an equal exchange of value.
I stated in a recent blog, "When A Man Likes A Woman" (10/21) that I have always had a thing for women with a lot of emotional past traumas and I have learned that it doesn't matter how good I am to them, if they don't want what you have to offer, then they don't want it and it is that simple.
One thing I know that I bring to the table to any woman at this stage in my life is that I am confident in my ability to instill confidence by providing solutions.
I will say that there are some women where it doesn't matter how many solutions you try to give them, they still wont want any part of it and at that point, it is my time to respectfully walk away and move on.
On the other side, there are women that genuinely will listen and take action towards the things you provide her with and this is something I find extremely attractive.
To me, it is an extremely rewarding feeling to know you helped a woman with little-to-no confidence feel good about herself and see her take action to become a better version of herself - it is a more rewarding feeling than dating a 10 who just wants the validation from you and as many other men as possible.
A woman that genuinely wants to become a better version of herself is something that I am highly attracted to at this stage in my life.
When a woman does things to help herself build confidence and have self-respect, this is a clear sign that she genuinely has something to bring to the table and isn't just looking for a man that will "take care" of her.
A woman that is focused on making herself into a better version of herself is a woman living in her true feminine.
The problem that a lot of women face today, especially highly desirable women, is that they have only had shitty men validate them and give them "value" and constantly face rejection from these kinds of men.
I have also learned that the older she is, the more set in her ways she becomes.
If she has been let down by too many men in her life, she is constantly going to be seeking that same validation from men and looking for a man to "take care" of her even though she has relied on herself to become independent.
Many of these women believe that if the right man comes along to "take care" of her, all of her problems will be fixed when that isn't necessarily the case.
When a woman waits for the "right" man to come along, she will have nothing to bring to the table because she hasn't taken the necessary steps to become the better version of herself and will continue to attract much of the same she has been attracting her entire life.
The more insecure a woman is, the more she is going to attract insecure men.
The more genuine confidence and self-respect a woman has, the more she is going to attract men with confidence and self-respect.
If you are only attracting people with low self-esteem into your life, then you automatically know your priorities are out of line somewhere.
So, it is extremely attractive to see a woman who has genuinely put the work in on herself and has taken the necessary steps to build confidence in herself.
I know that if a woman has self-respect and has been working on building her own confidence, then I will be able to give her the confidence that she needs to succeed and feel good about herself.
This is part of being a man - being able to bring the absolute best out of a woman because the right woman will bring the best out of you.
I am no longer attracted to the things that I used to be attracted to.
I no longer follow the millions of beautiful models on the internet who just post bikini photos and pictures of themselves half naked.
I used to be attracted to these kinds of women.
I used to be attracted to the super hot model with the perfect body and millions of followers on Instagram with nothing but men drooling over her.
How cool would it be to know that there are tens of thousands of other men out there drooling over your girl and you know that she is yours and you're the one that gets to sleep with her? Turns out, it's not that cool...
Because while you may be the only one sleeping with her (for the time being), she is still seeking validation from other men which will inherently effect her ability to pair bond with one man.
When a woman is constantly seeking validation from other men, she lacks all of the confidence and oftentimes will do nothing to help herself build confidence.
If you think I am joking, try telling a woman with millions of followers to delete her Instagram account, or tell your girlfriend to stop stripping at the club, or to quit modeling...
You see, to some this may sound "controlling" but to me, it is these things that destroys a woman's confidence the most and this is just offering a solution to help her fix the problem she is having.
A woman's ability to be authentic is probably what I am most attracted to at this stage in my life.
A woman that isn't seeking validation from other men and can just be her truest, most authentic self is what I value the most.
The more true a woman is to herself, the more beautiful she becomes inside and out.
That is the thing with physical beauty is that physical looks will always fade over time.
If a woman or a man cannot stay true to themselves or their purpose in life, they will eventually become unattractive to their partner and it is just a matter of time, it doesn't matter how physically attractive they are.
I have always valued much of the same things my entire life.
I have always valued the idea of having one woman to love and build a life and a family with her.
What I have been and am now attracted to has changed drastically.
I will always be able to appreciate female beauty because I am still a man at the end of the day - if a woman looks good whether in person or online, it is still going to be natural for a man to think she looks good.
But when it comes to being genuinely attracted to a female, it goes much deeper than what is just on the surface.
Who she is, what she values, and her level of confidence and self-respect are going to carry far more weight than whatever you see on the surface level.
Getting to know a woman's true depths of her soul is what I am into, not just if she is good in bed.
A woman that has a genuine ability to pair bond with a man is what I am into, not someone who has only sought out and continues to seek attention from men.
Looks do matter because at the end of the day, physical attraction matters - it is that initial attraction that grabs a man's attention and makes him want to pursue a female, but she does not have to be a Maxim Magazine cover model to get my attention.
I am highly attracted to women that prefer to stay covered up online and in person, while still making an effort to look beautiful and professional when it matters.
At the end of the day, her values are what make her who she is and if our values align, she accepts me and respects me as being the man, is undeniably loyal even behind closed doors, and wants to support me and my dream, then there is nothing really more that you could ask for as a man.