Narcissism is a common term that people use today to describe someone else that they feel they have been wronged by.
We see the word narcissist come up frenquently, especially in the world of modern dating.
When someone feels as though someone else has done them wrong or they feel cheated in some way, it is easy to point the finger at someone else and label them as a narcissist.
The more I have studied this topic and human behavior in general, the more the concept of narcissism makes sense.
One thing that I have recently learned is that all people are narcissists to some degree.
In Robert Greene’s book, The Laws of Human Nature, he has an entire chapter on the concept of narcissism and the different levels of narcissism.
Greene illustrates narcissism in terms of there being different levels of narcissists - from surface level narcissists, to deep narcissists.
He also makes a compelling argument as to the validity that we are all narcissists to some degree because every single one of us seeks validation from others in some way, shape, or form.
Humans are a social species and we all seek validation from others to some degree.
The humans seek for validation stems from our childhood and our earliest years of life, particularly with our parents.
When we were upset, hungry, or needed our diaper changed, we would cry in hopes of our mother being there to soothe our anxieties.
This is a deeply rooted form of seeking validation and it is something that most of us are completely unaware of.
The surface level narcissist seeks validation from certain people, even something as simple as having a genuine conversation with someone else.
When we share our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs with others and they agree with us, we feel a deep sense of validation from those that share our same opinions and worldviews.
Having someone agree with us makes us feel good and it validates to us that we are not stupid or crazy because someone else also shares our same opinions.
We all love when the person we think about the most expresses interest in us and reaches out to us because it validates that the person we are most interested in shares that same interest.
Those that lie in the depths of deep narcissism are slightly more complicated.
Those that lie in the deep narcissistic state seek validation from many people all at once.
For the deep narcissist, their seek for validation becomes more of a necessity because they crave the attention from others.
We see this a lot on social media in modern culture with the ease of accessibility that we have to everyone else.
Promiscuity is an example of deep narcissism because of the constant need of validation in the forms of attention and short term sexual gratification.
Whether it be online or in person, promiscuous behavior illustrates that said person is craving the attention from others.
The deep narcissists rely on their insecurities to seek as much validation as they can because it satisfies their short term needs and desires.
I am particularly fascinated with the concept of narcissism because of the obsession people have labeling other people as such without ever taking a look in the mirror.
Every single one of us is seeking validation from others to some extent and this is something we all need to accept.
Robert Greene is a fantastic author and I highly recommend any of his books for those looking for recommendations, especially The Laws of Human Nature.
I believe it is important for everyone out there to learn more about human behavior, and behavior patterns in general.
The more you learn about human behavior, the more you will be able to self-actualize, identify your own behavior patterns, and better strategize your patterns for success.
Not only will learning human behavior better serve yourself and your own behavior, it will allow you to better understand others and determine what kind of people you want to have in your life.