I believe that when it comes to dating in the modern era, a lot of people are caught up in thinking about the person they want, instead of thinking about the person they need.
I also believe that the constant battle between people thinking more about the things they want instead of the things they need is a result of consumer culture.
People see other people sailing around on yachts and the next thing they know, they want to be sailing around on a yacht, but what they need is a business and drive to put them in a position to get on a yacht of their own.
Women want the high status men with money, good looks, charm, charisma, and that is a protector and provider the same way men want beautiful women that make them look good.
But the real question is, are these the types of people they need?
I would argue, absolutely not.
It's easy for people to sit here and think about the things they think they deserve in a society that is entitled and does nothing but consume everyone else's reality and make it their own.
I think people get too caught up in thinking about the things they want that they forget about the things that they need.
To me, what everyone needs is the person that brings the absolute best out of them.
The person you can sit across from and say "you know what, this person makes me want to be the best possible version of myself."
Everyone has their own definition of true love. To me, true love is when two people bring the absolute best out of one another and they recognize there is no other person they would rather work to be with.
The key word in my previous statement is "work" because I also believe that it takes work to stay in love with someone because love is a commitment and committing to anything is going to require hard work.
The problem that most people face today is they are too caught up in thinking about the things they want that they forget about the things that they need, like a genuine connection with someone else.
Before anyone says "I don't need anyone", just know that you are lying to yourself. We are humans and we are physical and spiritual beings that were designed to rely on one another. Everyone needs someone and that is just a part of the human experience.
When people value things like their looks, or money, or other things of zero substance that do not last, they lose sight and close themselves off from being able to accept a genuine connection.
Eventually, people will just end up settling for the best that they can get because they forgot what it means to value things of genuine substance.
Instead of valuing a genuine connection, people are thinking about what someone else can do for them.
Everything that you want may sound nice in theory but what you want right now isn't going to be the same as what you want 20 years from now.
I have always said that energy is extremely magnetic and what you put out into the universe is what you will receive.
This is why I believe that the best thing that any man can do is focus on doing the things he has to do to become the best possible man that he can become so that he can open himself up energetically to meeting the right woman that brings his true best out of him.
I also believe this same rule applies for women in the sense that in order to attract the man that brings your absolute best out of you, you have to already be working on bringing the best out of yourself.
To me, it is about having the pure intention behind the work that will open you up to being able to receive the things that you need.
If your intention is to work on becoming a better version of yourself so that you can be the best possible protector and provider for your wife and family, you will meet the woman that best suits your spirit and your mission.
If your intention is to work on becoming the best possible wife to your husband and mother to your children, you will meet the man that best suits your spirit and your mission.
If all people do is run around and date people because they are desperate to find love, I truly don't believe they will ever find what they are looking for and for good reason - they simply haven't done the work that it takes to attract something genuine.
I have been around enough people in my life that are either divorced or older and lonely because they focused on the wrong things. They focused on the things they wanted, instead of focusing on the things that they needed long-term.
Your wants are only short-term because as we grow as people, our wants will change.
Our needs will always remain the same. We are always going to need to surround ourselves with people that genuinely suit our spirit and bring the best out of us.
I realize that for myself personally, the only thing that I can do is focus on becoming the best possible man that I can become so that one day when I do have a wife and family, they can always rely on me.
I refuse to spend anymore time wasted on people that do not suit my spirit or value the same things that I value.
I know there will always be work that needs to be done, but if I am willing to go through the fire by myself so that one day the people that I love can always rely on me, it is just a matter of time before the right opportunity shows up.