We live in an interesting period of time where people typically enjoy labeling other people and other things that goes against their beliefs.
Toxic masculinity is a term that people often throw around in today's culture as a source of reference to a male being masculine.
While we could sit here and argue back and forth as to what being masculine actually means, the term "toxic masculinity" is usually thrown towards men that prefer to take more of the leader role.
There are only two genders: male and female - by extension, there can only be masculine and feminine.
There are men that are masculine, and there are men that are more feminine, but there is no "toxic masculinity."
This term gets thrown around more often than not in today's culture because it is rare to see a man actually operate in his true masculine.
The feminism narrative has been pushed down our throats for the last couple of decades which has shown because men now are more weak and feminine than ever before, and women are more masculine than ever.
Men have been taught that it is okay to be in their feelings and it is okay to feel like shit sometimes.
The truth is (every man knows this), there is not a single person out there that truly gives a shit how we feel as men.
There is nobody out there that is going to give you a shoulder to cry on because that is not our job, it has never been our job, and it will never be our job.
Our job is to be the shoulder, not the cryer.
This is something that modern society would consider to be "toxic" because men that are men inherently realize that there is no room for weakness.
Is it okay to feel like shit sometimes? Absolutely because life as a man is extremely stressful.
Men have all the responsibility in the world to make sure that their women and children are looked after and protected - there is a lot of stress that comes along with having that level of responsibility.
While I may not have a wife and children, working with animals has shown me just how stressful life as a man can really be because you have other lives that depend on you for the proper care and it doesn't matter how you feel that day, your job still needs to get done and done well.
On top of the fact that we have real world problems like finances, relationships, friends and family etc. that are all a part of our responsibilities every single day.
So the moral of this story is, there is no time to sit there and be in our feelings just because we are sad or anxious.
Anxiety comes from a place of having too many options and not knowing which option to choose.
Genuine sadness comes from a place of hopelessness and feeling like you have no options at all.
Every once in awhile, negative thoughts and feelings will creep in as this is just part of human nature, but if a man is consumed by feelings of sadness and anxiety, then his priorities are out of line.
Men that are fueled by purpose know what they have to do and know that they cannot rest until they get what needs to be done everyday.
Men that are stoic have the ability control their feelings, even when times get tough.
Men that are strong and confident will know what value they bring to the table and will not settle for anything less than they know that they deserve because they have done the work to get them there.
So my question is, how is any of this toxic?
How is being and acting like a man toxic?
The thing is when shit hits the fan, people (especially women) want a strong confident man in their corner to protect them and do the things that men are inherently good at.
It is only when people's egos get involved that being a man and being masculine becomes a problem.
The way that I see it is that there is no toxic masculinity, there is only toxic behavior.
Both men and women are capable of being toxic and this is just a result of having a lack of self-control.
Gaslighting is toxic.
Entertaining multiple people at one time is toxic.
Being hot and cold with someone is toxic.
Promiscuity is toxic.
Lying, cheating, and stealing are all toxic.
The list can continue to go on, but the picture is clear in that both men and women are guilty of doing these kinds of things.
A man that practices self-control, is stoic, driven, confident, and strong is a man that every man wants to have in their corner to go to battle with, and every woman wants as a protector and provider.
A man that lies, cheats, and steals is a weak man that nobody wants in their corner.
A man or a woman that is promiscuous and addicted to receiving attention from the opposite sex is toxic, regardless if they tell themselves that they would stop as soon as the right person came along.
Pretending to be interested in a person so that they give you attention while you're leaving the door open for other people to give you their time and attention is toxic.
Instead of men being told that it is "okay" to be in their feelings, they need to be taught how to be strong, how to build confidence, and how to treat women with respect.
Men need to be taught how to have respect for ourselves so that we do not sit there and waste time on other people that do not value what we bring to the table.
Men need to be taught to be useful so that we are capable of being able to bring value to others and no one could mistake us for not bringing enough value.
Men today are taught to be weak, emotional, addicted to porn, and allow women to walk all over them which is the exact opposite of what men were actually designed to be.
There is no toxic masculinity, there is only toxic behavior.
There is no such thing as a man that is confident, practices self-control, and has respect for himself being toxic.
It is only when a man chooses to act upon his selfish desires that he becomes toxic.
Men need to learn to be men again - be useful, practice self-control, and learn how to lead so that he can be reliable, actually lead his woman and his family, and not be walked over by society.