There are some things in life that genuinely suck as part of the human experience.
With the outside world full of distractions and systems set in place to do nothing but stress us out, we often all have internal conflicts that coincide with external conflicts.
There is war, elections, media, geopolitics, etc. all of these things going on around us all of the time, but what about the things going on inside of us?
Maybe you have experienced loss and are having a hard time internalizing it.
Maybe one of your best friends got critically ill and there is nothing you can do for them other than pray that they can stay alive.
One thing is for certain is that every single one of us has experienced heartbreak before and this is oftentimes something that most people find themselves having a hard time dealing with, especially men.
In my opinion, heartbreak is one of those things that just proves to me that we are human after-all.
We were meant to feel things and we were meant to experience connections to other humans even though not every one of them was meant to last.
Heartbreak is an interesting topic because it is something everyone deals with differently.
I have seen through my experiences that both men and women handle heartbreak differently - this is something that I also think makes men and women different.
I believe the reason why men and women feel heartbreak differently is because men and women love differently.
There are many people out there that claim that women love idealistically, while men love realistically.
Simply put, women love the idea of things that men have to offer, while men love the actual woman herself.
There is 100% truth in this statement and have experienced this many times in my life - there are women that do in fact, love the idea of men more than the actual man.
Maybe he's nice and supportive.
Maybe he's tall, good looking, and funny.
Maybe he's rich and can pay all of your bills, buy you useless shit, and take you places just because.
I would argue that there was never true love from women that love idealistically to begin with. Meaning, while she might have told you she loved you and actually thought she loved you a one point, it wasn't actual love.
When a woman is truly in love with a man, every other man on the planet ceases to exist - this is in their nature.
A woman loves a man as her protector and provider and understands that her life rests in his hands - she respects every ounce of his being and knows there is not a single man on the planet that can do for her what he is capable of.
Oftentimes in modern culture, women will say they are in love and still talk to other men, continue to disrespect him behind closed doors, and make him look stupid.
This is where the concept of women loving idealistically comes into play because if a woman claims to be "in love" with a man and does nothing but disrespect him, she is not actually in love with him, regardless of what she tells herself.
Women that love idealistically will constantly be in search for something more. If their relationship falls through with this person, she is immediately back on the market looking for someone else.
When a woman loves idealistically, she will often take advantage of the nice guys. She loves that she knows someone will be there for her and have all the right things to say when her life gets rough, but continues to disrespect him and makes him look stupid behind closed doors.
So, there is truth to the statement that women do love idealistically and I have proof that it is valid because I myself have experienced this many times with women. This is also why I now have boundaries for myself as a man if I am ever going to give a woman my time and attention.
With that being said, there are still women out there that love in the traditional sense, that don't talk to other men, and support with every ounce of her being.
To me, this is actual love from a woman - she truly respects her man, supports everything that he does, remains exclusive from other men, and understands his needs.
Women that love strongly often find themselves going through hard heartbreaks.
They often feel like they gave too much of themselves and remain alone until the pain is gone. While heartbreak is hard, these types of women are always going to win in the end in my opinion.
Women that truly love and not just love idealistically, have everything in the world to offer a man.
Women that love idealistically and talk to other men or ex-boyfriends, continue to be provocative out in public or online, and constantly disrespect their man, have nothing to offer a man that he can't get from any other female.
In this case, it is extremely important for a woman to know what respect is and what it means to a man if she ever intends on being with a good man.
Now, for men...
I mentioned above that men love realistically in the sense that they are ready to die for their woman and do everything in his power to protect her and provide for her, much like a father would to protect and provide for a daughter.
With that being said, this is not always the case.
Not every man that gets into a relationship is prepared to die for his woman and sacrifice parts of himself for her genuine well-being.
There are men out there that I would argue also "love" idealistically in the sense that they will sit there and entertain beautiful women just because they make him look good, instead of actually loving her the way a man should.
With that being said, when a man truly loves a woman and is ready to give his life for her, that kind of heartbreak is something that I don't think a woman will ever truly understand.
It is in our nature to protect you at all costs, the last thing we want is to feel disrespected and be put in a position to have to walk away from the person we are ready to die for.
When a man is experiencing true heartbreak, he will feel a level of pain within himself that takes a long time to go away - sometimes months, and sometimes even years.
When something we are ready to die for is taken away from us, it takes a piece of us with them.
Men and women experience heartbreak everyday as it is just a part of the human experience, but how one chooses to channel the energy of a heartbreak will determine what kind of man or woman they are and how valuable they will become.
If a man experiences a heartbreak, sits at home and cries about it, calls his ex every other day, while trying to get laid from other women - he is weak and is never going to gain the strength of becoming a real man.
The same way if a woman experiences heartbreak and is immediately back out onto the market, or also trying to get laid, she is never going to have anything of genuine substance to offer a real man.
The best thing anyone can do for heartbreak is to channel that pain into something productive.
If she broke your heart and you want to cry about it, go hit the gym and get in the best possible shape you can be in.
If the woman you want wont give you a chance because you're not sailing around on a yacht, go start a business and show her why in 10 years from now she made the biggest mistake of her life for not choosing you.
The only thing a man can do in this position is focus on his mission and focus on becoming a better and stronger man.
This doesn't mean going out to the club with your dickhead friends, being degenerates, and trying to slay baddies.
You have to sacrifice things and stay focused on the things that make you strong if you are ever going to be able to sacrifice and be strong for the right woman.
Women, if you are experiencing heartbreak, the best thing you can do is take the time and reflect on the things you did right, and the things you did wrong.
Understand and focus on the things you truly value and the things that make you a good woman so that you can attract a good man.
If you decide to just get back onto the market right away looking for a new boyfriend or you're just looking for some dick, you must understand that all you are doing is damaging yourself emotionally and devaluing yourself as a woman.
You cannot focus on things of zero substance because you yourself become a person of zero substance and will find yourself unable of finding a good strong man.
Both men and women need to understand what self-respect means in hard times.
If you cannot respect yourself and do the things that make you the best version of yourself during hard times, you will never be able to truly respect someone else in a relationship.