Insecurities are a fundamental experience in human nature.
Our social and emotional nature opens us up to the possibilities of being vulnerable, and these vulnerabilities can take a toll on our mental and emotional states.
Today, I want to share with you what I believe to be the most powerful insecurity.
Powerful in the sense that it can either work in your favor and fuel you towards a path of success and fulfillment in life, or it can trap you in the deepest trenches within your own mind.
That insecurity is the feeling of never being good enough.
Think about all of the times things have gone wrong in your life and all of the times you have set high expectations on certain things just to find yourself coming short of your intended outcome.
Oftentimes in these moments of falling short, we naturally tend to beat ourselves up and look for some outside source to blame.
Every relationship we have had that has gone sour, every business deal that has fallen through, every PR in the gym we have tried time and time again to achieve and still can't seem to push through.
In these moments, it is easy to make excuses because due to fundamental laws of human nature, we naturally look for the path of least resistance.
Our own disappointment leads us down the path of least resistance naturally, and this is when we begin to develop feelings of self-doubt and victim mentality.
We start to think that because every relationship we have tried to be in has gone sour that we are unworthy of love and true companionship.
We think that because we can't seem to push through our PR at the gym that we are not strong enough.
These feelings of self-doubt and never being good enough can either do one of two things: look for the easy way out, or fuel us to get better.
Part of us needs to be real with ourselves when we come up short from achieving a desired outcome.
If every relationship we have had has not worked out, we need to be real with the fact that there are things we did right and wrong and it's not always just the other person to blame.
If we fall short of a PR at the gym, we need to be real with the fact that we might not be strong enough to lift that weight at that particular moment.
The more we fall victim to our own self-doubt, the easier it will be for us to reinforce the same behavior pattern that has caused us to fall short of our undesired outcome.
If we fail to accept the reality of our situation, we will continue to find ourselves in the same patterns over and over again.
Human behavior is patterned and many of our patterns are established from experiences from our childhood.
We develop deep rooted insecurities from things and experiences that we are not even consciously aware of.
The feeling of never being good enough is two-fold: on one hand, it can continue to reinforce our patterned behavior, but on the other hand, it can force us to look deep within ourselves and get to the root of our behaviors and look for ways to change our established patterns.
When we look at people that are the most successful in their respective fields of expertise, many of them are fueled by the fact that they feel they are never good enough, which forces them to work even harder to get better.
It is said that Sidney Crosby, captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins NHL hockey team trains as if there was a league higher than the NHL.
When asked about this, Crosby stated that it is easy for him to show up to the rink everyday with that mentality.
This mentality has allowed him to be a dominate force in the highest professional league of hockey for over 18 seasons and counting.
Feeling like we are never going to be good enough can inspire us to adapt and evolve to new environments and continuously raise the bar for ourselves.
This kind of inspiration can be a double-edged sword however, because in some respects, if all we are focusing on is achieving the next best thing, we can often lose sight of what we already have.
We can lose parts of ourselves if all we are focused on is work and take many of the things around us for granted.
Billionaires have often said that one of their biggest regrets in life is not spending enough time with their families due to their constant pursuit of work and building something successful and sustainable.
When it comes to feeling like we are never going to be good enough, we need to be able to find balance.
We need to develop the spark of motivation that is fueled by purpose to propel us along the path of success and fulfillment in whatever we do, but we also need to be present and make time for the things that we already have.
The worst thing we can do however, is feel like we are never going to be good enough and do absolutely nothing to change it.
If we do nothing to change our behavior, not only will we have nothing to live for and look forward to, but we also will take many of the things we already have for granted.
There are many facets of life that deserve our time and focus respectively.
If we can establish a pattern that fuels us to get what we want in life and simultaneously be grateful for what we already have, the path to fulfillment is within our grasp.