Through the many interactions we have with people throughout the course of our lives, we often get intuitive feelings about a person within the first interaction with them.
Have you ever met someone for the first time and felt within minutes after meeting them that something about them seemed off to you?
This intuition comes from certain things we notice about people within the first few minutes of the interaction.
Everything from someone's body language to subtle reactions they have over certain things can be clues that give us an intuitive sense that someone is either genuine or full of it.
It is also fair to say that many people can be rather persuasive and often do not show their true colors until later on.
However, if you become more in-tune with peoples behavior, it can better serve you when interacting with someone new.
One thing that is important for people to learn is how to pick up on certain social cues that people give off when interacting with a new person.
Oftentimes, when we get involved with someone new, we get more caught up in the things that they say and pay little attention to the things that they do.
For example, let's say you're going out on a first date with someone and they cannot help but talk about themselves and give you details of things that they have experienced in their lives, as if they are opening up to you already because they feel "comfortable" around you.
While this may be flattering at a first glance, someone sharing personal life experiences early on can be a tell tale sign that this is not the first time they have done this with someone before.
For instance, you sit down with someone for the first time and they start talking about their exes or past dating experiences can be a clear sign that they have had many dating experiences and their need to share this information with you is almost impulsive - as if they are seeking validation from you immediately.
The contents of what people choose to talk about on the first couple of encounters can give you clues as to whether they are genuine about wanting to talk to you or just seeking validation.
Maybe they bring up something that is controversial early on and they are trying to see if you agree with their point of view - this is form of them seeking validation to validate that someone else shares similar beliefs.
People want to know that others share similar beliefs and worldviews because it validates them by a means of feeling that they are right.
One of the most important things for people to look for in their abilities to read people is being aware of the contents of what the other person is sharing within the first couple of encounters.
As mentioned above, if a man goes on a first date with a woman and she starts bringing up stories about her exes and past relationships, this is a clear sign that she has had many dating encounters and her impulse to share this information is something that she most likely readily does when going on other first dates.
Regardless of how "free spirited" someone might claim to be, someone revealing too much of themselves too early is a clear sign that you are dealing with a narcissist.
In simple terms, somebody that is revealing too much of their personal lives too soon is seeking an immense amount of validation from you.
So it is important for people to take notice of the kinds of information people are sharing about themselves in the first few encounters.
Is what they are sharing professional?
Or is what they're sharing too personal and misleading by them making you feel like they are "comfortable" enough around you to be sharing this type of information?
Another skill for people to learn is being able to pick up on others body language when having an interaction with someone new for the first couple of encounters.
Throughout my years of live entertainment and the thousands of interactions I have had with people from all over the world, I have become rather keen on picking up on certain body language that people will display to tell you if they are feeling uncomfortable around you or not.
The first thing to be made aware of is someone's tone of voice.
You can typically hear in someone's tone of voice whether they are confident or intimidated by you.
If you pick up that someone feels intimidated by you through their tone of voice, then you need to be able to adjust your tone to match theirs.
If someone looks intimidated, continuing to be overly aggressive is just going to continue to make them more uncomfortable and easy to resist you.
Another sign to pick up on is eye contact.
You can tell a lot by looking into a persons eyes when having a conversation.
Are they looking directly at you when they are speaking to you or does it seem like they are looking through you?
Are they staring off into space when you are talking or are they actually listening?
You can tell if someone is listening to you if they repeat something back to you that you mentioned.
This is also a good social tactic for anyone out there in looking to persuade someone else - repeating back to them things they have said.
It makes other people feel as though you are listening to them and interested in what they have to say.
Even revisiting something they told you about themselves previously in the conversation is a good way for you to show that you are listening and interested in what they have to say.
Something as simple as, "you mentioned earlier you have four older brothers. Did they pick on you a lot growing up?"
This gets people engaged in the conversation, makes them feel heard, and ultimately makes them more interested in you for being interested in them.
If someone comes off passive when you ask this type of question, then you need to be able to take a mental note of it because this is a social cue that the person you are interacting with is not interested in talking to you.
Other cues to pick up on via body language can be from how someone smiles, laughs, and their posture when talking to you.
Are they attentive and sitting straight up?
Or do they appear overly-relaxed hanging their legs off the side of the chair?
The ability to read people is a social skill that every one of us needs to become more keen on, including myself.
I have had thousands of interactions with people, and most of what I am sharing with you today are things that I have learned through the many interactions that I have had.
With the knowledge of being able to read people, you can then go out and apply this knowledge for yourself, develop your own way of communication, and see what works for you and what doesn't.