The topic of today's post is about something that I think many people get confused and that is the difference between lust and love.
Lust is very common in modern culture.
With social media and online platforms, people are now able to get endless amounts of attention simply for being good looking.
When a man sees a woman that is attractive, it is in his natural instinct to want to picture himself with her sexually.
While I cannot fully speak on behalf of women for the sheer fact that I am not a woman, there are women that I have talked to that think very similar to men in the sense that when they see an attractive male, they think about wanting to be with him sexually.
However, I have also talked to women that have said that when they see an attractive male, there is more of a sense of appreciation and not so much wanting to sleep with him.
I believe this is partially due to the hypersexualization of human behavior in modern culture.
I think it is natural for a woman to seek out the best possible candidate for a man because that man, evolutionary speaking, is the best possible choice for survival.
It is natural for a woman to appreciate a man with a good physique, with wide shoulders and a small waist the same way it is natural for a man to appreciate a woman with a small waist and round hips.
This is biological attraction in a nutshell.
Lust is very powerful in the human psyche.
Lust paints a picture of a false reality and one in which the beholder believes they have a chance in having something genuine.
Given my experience, I have been in the position where I have been lusted by women, whether it was performing on stage or being on the cover of a romance book.
My appearance and my role in these things was to paint a picture of a false reality into the minds of women.
The reality is, who I am as a person is not the performer on stage or the man in the romance book, regardless of the lustful image that is portrayed.
As a man, seeing a beautiful woman can be captivating of the mind.
A man can see a beautiful woman and be thinking about her all day long.
There is an innate desire for a man to want to procreate with a woman that he is attracted to, as this is biologically inherited.
The thing I find interesting about desire is that is can be used for you, or it can be used against you.
Desire can be used for you when choosing a partner because that desire you have for your partner can set a foundation for building a genuine relationship.
Desire can be used against you because that strong natural urge can lead you down a path of seeking pleasure and short term gratification.
What I find to be the biggest difference between lust and love is the sheer fact that lust serves the short term gratification, while love seeks the long term reward.
Many times, people will confuse the two of these when it comes to choosing a partner.
Either someone is too focused on the lust and the desire they have for their partner, or they are too focused on the love and completely ignore the others red flags.
It is hard to love someone because love is an exceptionally strong emotion that can bring you to the highest of highs, to the lowest of lows.
Lust is easy, it's instant, you feel something in that moment and you react on it.
Love requires one to search within and love themselves first, before they are able to truly love someone else.
Acting on lust requires no love of self and often results in having a lack of self-esteem.
This does not go without mentioning that I do believe there has to be a level of desire one has for their partner.
I believe that when a woman truly loves and desires a man, there is no other man on the planet she will ever be thinking about.
When a woman truly loves a man, she is not entertaining other men, talking to exes, replying to DM's on social media etc.
If a woman is just lusting over a man, she will still talk to other men and seek attention from other men.
Love requires respect, lust does not.
It requires no self-respect to choose to give in to short term pleasure.
Love means loyalty and when a man is truly in love with a woman, he chooses her every single day and is ready to die for her.
When a man truly loves a woman, there is nothing he wouldn't do for her.
When a man lusts over a woman, he loses the battle to himself.
It requires no effort to give in to the short term gratification of lust, whereas it takes all of the effort to be at peace with yourself and work to love your partner everyday for the rest of your life.
Love requires a commitment and that is a commitment to yourself and to your partner, while lust requires no commitment.
I have seen lust and I have experienced it first-hand, and what I can tell you is that nothing positive or beneficial will ever come out of it.
There is no need to sit there and follow half-naked women online or pay to see her naked.
There is no reason to waste your time watching porn or swiping on dating apps because you're bored.
There is no need to spend all of your time just trying to hook up with beautiful women because you think it helps your ego.
Lust can be extremely dangerous and often put you in a bind if you have not done your homework on yourself.
Once you have worked to build yourself into your strongest self, you realize that lust will have no place in your life because the only thing that matters are the people you love.
Life is a journey and is full of lessons if you are willing to do the work necessary to not give into the short term, and only plan for the long term.