Dating in the modern world has become significantly more difficult than any other period of human history.
Through use of technology such as social media and dating apps, we have unlimited access to people from all over the world at any minute of the day.
The world we live in in the modern day is attention driven.
People online can choose to display themselves to gain followers and connect with people they have never actually met in person.
Because of our unlimited access to others, our options for dating have increased exponentially.
Through use of dating apps for example, we can swipe on pictures of people we find attractive and message them directly without ever having to go out and actually meet them.
Because of this, men have collectively lost the ability to go out and court women to express genuine interest - all it takes is a right swipe and a direct message to grab someone else's attention.
Now, if you have been here and read some of my earlier posts on this channel, you know where I stand on dating apps - collectively, I see them as a net negative to society due to the use of achieving short term gratification.
There are some benefits in the sense that one could connect with someone else they wouldn't have connected with otherwise, but dating apps collectively give people a false sense of having options.
What I mean is that if two people connect on a dating app and start dating, if things don't work out, then the initial reaction is to go right back onto the dating app to find the next best person.
This false sense of having options has allowed people to lose sight of what it means to actually have to court properly and work to be with someone else.
If someone loses interest or fails to gain any interest in the beginning stages, the immediate reaction is to go right back out and look for the next best thing.
In some sense, this could be seen as someone leaving their options open.
It creates this reality in which if it doesn't work out with this person, you could go right back out and look for someone else.
This becomes a vicious cycle of seeking short term gratification when practiced.
It doesn't always have to be gaining some form of short term sexual gratification, but gratification in the form of immediate attention.
If seeking immediate attention is practiced long enough, the psychological effects long term can become extremely harmful, especially if trying to pursue a long term relationship with someone.
If someone is used to seeking attention, no amount of attention any one person gives them will ever be enough - there will always be a need to seek that attention elsewhere.
The need for keeping your options open will damage any sort of long term relationship you plan on building with someone else.
The way we bypass this need for seeking attention and immediate approval from others is through conscious efforts to refrain from seeking attention when we want it the most.
We must understand that if we want someone else to respect us and respect our time in a relationship, then we must first rid ourselves of seeking the approval of those who do not respect it.
Our "options" will not all respect our time because most our "options" also have options.
What gets interesting is when only one of the two people in a relationship leaves their options open.
In this case, one person is making a genuine effort for the relationship, while the other is still leaving the door open for someone else.
Whether said person is still on dating apps, talking to other people, responding to their exes etc. the door is still being left open for someone else to grab their attention.
It is important to note that by keeping your options open, you will never truly find what you are looking for in a relationship long term.
You will never give your full effort for someone else when you are still seeking the approval of others.
The need for constant approval from others is a deeply rooted insecurity and will require a deep reflection of the self to get to the root of it.
Keeping your options open is never a good idea.
One might think that if they leave their options open it will make getting over heartbreak easier in case something doesn't work out with someone, but heartbreak is a natural part of the human experience.
We have to experience heartbreak to gain clarity as to what it is that we want and what we don't want from someone else.
If we are constantly immersing ourselves in seeking immediate approval from others, we are never truly going to get the clarity that we need.