You know what is funny about life?
To me, one of the funniest things about life is how similar and how different everything can be at the exact same time.
What I mean by this is, being in similar situations and getting different outcomes.
I have discussed previously about changing of behavior and it increasing our capacity to learn, but this principle is exceptionally true.
I realize that as I continue to find myself in similar situations I have been in before, the way that I operate within these situations has changed.
I know that I cannot make everyone happy, no matter how hard I try, but one thing is for sure in that I will always make an attempt to speak my truth to those who are deserving of it.
In the past, it was always a chase game for me.
If something bad went down in a relationship I was in, I would fight tooth and nail to keep it afloat even though it never got me anywhere.
I have learned this lesson and this is mostly why I preach for young men to never try and chase a female.
The best thing any man can do is speak his truth and respectfully move on.
With that being said, the last thing that I would ever want is to make someone feel bad without giving them my truth.
Speaking your truth is the only thing you can do to save your dignity, otherwise you will constantly find yourself burning bridges and damaging your reputation in the process.
There are a lot of men out there that are insecure and are afraid of having uncomfortable conversations without getting emotional over it.
What I am here to tell you is that the more honest you can be with a person, regardless of the circumstances, the better you will feel and the more you will grow as a person.
You see, honesty is a quality that builds character.
While none of us may be perfect and we will all often find ourselves fucking up, the only thing you can do is speak your truth.
Don't try and beat around the bush, don't try and sweet talk someone into staying into your life that doesn't really want to be there, just lay your truth out on the line.
When it comes to being a man, a man that speaks his truth is a respectable man.
With that being said, you must also be able to identify someone that is deserving of your truth.
If someone has made a genuine effort to want to be a part of your life, then you owe them with the truth.
If someone hasn't made much of an effort to want to be a part of your life, leave it and move on.
I have said things behind closed doors about certain people that has ended up biting me in the ass and that is a lack of character on my part.
This is something that I know I must be better in, but like you, I am human and I feel things just like anyone else.
If it isn't something you can't tell to someone's face, then you shouldn't be saying it at all.
Granted, I am the type of person that I don't sugar coat anything for anyone - if I said something about you to someone else, I would still say it to your face, but that isn't the point.
Saying anything about someone else that is harmful to their reputation without them knowing is wrong and that is a flaw in your character.
These are things that we must be made aware of - things that are harmful to our character because our character is who we are behind closed doors.
Our character is who we are when nobody is watching.
I always have full transparency with the people I hold closest to me in my life.
While I may not tell everyone everything that I am going through or feeling, I will never shy away from having an uncomfortable conversation.
We all go through things and we all go running to people we are close to fill them in on what is going on and how we are feeling.
While I have always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve, I have learned over the years of living in solitude that not everyone truly cares.
There are many things that people don't know about me, even people that I am closest to because they are my struggles and things that I have to internalize and learn how to deal with on my own.
There have been a few times in my life where I have found myself externalizing things that I shouldn't have and it has ended up biting me in the ass on multiple occasions.
I just recently made this mistake and me being me, always trying to fix it.
As I stated previously, the only thing you can do in this situation is to try and provide people with your truth and move on.
If you have a flaw in your character, the only thing you can do is become aware of the flaw and try and fix it by giving people your honest truth.
You have to understand that not everyone is going to want your truth, and that is okay - not everyone is going to want to hear what you have to say.
The only thing that we can do as people in order to grow is recognize what we did wrong and think of ways to fix it so that it doesn't happen again.
This doesn't go without mentioning that you must be willing to act on whatever it is you did wrong and fix it with yourself first before you go trying to fix it with other people.
This is something that I have had to work on in my life is trying to work it out with myself first before I go and try and work it out with someone else.
If you can work it out with yourself first, you will be able to think more clearly and handle the situation with more professionalism instead of just acting and reacting like we most often do when faced with a situation that makes us uncomfortable, especially if we know that we are in the wrong.
The moral of this story is, we are all going to fuck up as it is just a part of human nature.
We are all going to do things and say things that we are not proud of.
We are all going to hurt people's feelings from time to time.
With that being said, purposely going out to hurt someone's feelings just because you feel like someone has done you wrong is the last thing you should do.
These are situations we need to learn to internalize first before we approach the situation from a professional point of view.
I am able to realize when I fuck up and I accept my wrongdoings and work on fixing them.
I can't sit here and solely feed my ego by thinking everyone else has done me wrong and that I am not one to be held accountable - this will get you nowhere.
I continue to strive and become a stronger man physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally because it is the only way that I will be able to build respectable character and my capabilities as a man.