Here at the Playboy Ranchin' channel, we have been taking a closer look into the traditional masculine/feminine roles, and we have been looking deeper into modern day problems and what men and women are often facing today's day-in-age.
We have been spending a lot of time on talking about the problems that women are facing and shedding light on potential solutions to fix their problems.
The first step in fixing any problem is being able to identify what the problem is.
After we have identified what the problem is, it will oftentimes take a hard conversation to figure out a way to fix the problem.
It isn't until one changes their behavior that the problem can actually be fixed.
Having those hard conversations may seem daunting because whether you are having those conversations with yourself or with someone else, your insecurities are being picked apart and it makes things feel incredibly personal.
Every single one of us have things that we are insecure about.
Oftentimes, if we do not deal with our insecurities and work at making them strengths, they will grab a hold of your mind and drag you down with them.
Insecurities are formed through response to trauma.
Every time we experience trauma, it triggers an emotional response and that emotional response lives in the subconscious part of the mind that makes up 90% of our daily brain function.
Those subconscious feelings become subconscious thoughts, which become subconscious beliefs, which become real time thoughts and behaviors.
Do you see where I am going with this?
Every time we feel insecure about something, it is triggering an emotional response to some form of trauma we have experienced.
It is the emotion that people often let stand in their way from being able to move on from things.
Most people often take the path of least resistance - it is easy to just let things be as they are, regardless of how hard they make your life seem.
It is hard to actually have to work to turn insecurities into your strengths.
It takes discipline to change your behavior so that you can do something productive instead of just allowing your insecurities control your mind.
The thing about this dilemma is that both are hard, but you have the ability to choose your hard.
It is hard to have to sit there and let your insecurities get the best of you and ruin your life and your ability to discover your potential - or, you could choose the hard that takes work, discipline, and action to change so that you can open yourself up to have a more fulfilling life.
For men, we are designed to take action - we are designed to be productive.
The problem that men face today is that we have been trained to believe for decades that we no longer have any use for being productive, we have been weakened by a system that glorifies sex, and we have been told that it is "okay" for men to be emotional and have no control over their feelings.
These three factors are exactly what make men weak and insecure today.
If a man feels hopeless, what else can he do other than sit at home and look at beautiful women on the internet all day, jerk off to porn, and waste his life away?
Oftentimes, men become insecure when they completely lack the ability to discover their true potential.
When a man has no purpose, he becomes insecure - everyone around him, he is jealous of.
A man that is insecure is often infatuated by beautiful women. Simply put, if he is insecure, he will put a woman's beauty on a pedestal above all else.
A man that is insecure is often a pleasure seeker, constantly looking for the next thing to buy, the next woman to sleep with, or the next party to go to.
Men that are extremely loud are insecure - often flaunting his accomplishments to other people as if he is some sort of god.
If a man is constantly trying to bring others down without offering a solution, he is insecure.
While this may be a biased opinion, I also tend to believe that men on dating apps are insecure because confident men never have trouble finding women.
I wont get into the whole dating app debacle because you all know my stance on dating apps and them being a waste of time. I just think the reason why people are on them is because they are insecure and unconfident in what they bring to the table, otherwise they would have unlimited options in terms of good men or women wanting to be with them.
The problem is things like social media and dating apps give people a false sense of options.
Most of the time, men are only on dating apps to hook up with women (which is a sign of insecurity), while women are on there looking for love (sign of desperation).
While this post is predicated towards men, I would just like to say that as a man, it is a turn-off to see women on dating apps for two reasons: 1) she is either on there for sex, or 2) she is on there because she is desperate.
Women are always going to be sought out by men so what is the point of putting yourself on an app full of insecure men that are just trying to hook up with you?
If you focus on what it takes to be a strong, confident, and feminine women, masculine men are going to sniff you out and pursue you.
Granted, I know just about everyone has a past and has been fucked over by someone or many people, but why let that be your thought process when trying to move forward?
Yes, the world is changing - yes technology is changing. But if you are truly a feminine woman and you have self-respect and self-confidence, a confident man is always going to find you and pursue you.
I believe that dating apps and social media do nothing but give people a false sense of options instead of people focusing on becoming strong.
Men on dating apps is a red flag because when a man is confident in who he is and what he brings to the table, he has no problem getting a woman's attention in real life.
I speak on this personally because the only time I have ever found myself on a dating app was once and I was lonely and at a place of weakness - you will never find me on anything of the sort ever again, I promise you.
Oftentimes, insecure men find themselves wanting to shoot their shot over and over with beautiful women in their DM's, or commenting on all of their photos and will 99% of the time never have their messages or comments read.
While I do believe social media can be used as a tool, I think it should be every man's priority to become a man of strength and confidence first.
If a man is strong and he is confident, women will take notice.
When you are strong and confident, there is a better chance that a woman is going to read your message because 1) that is the energy you are putting out into the universe, and 2) you wont sound creepy because you will know how to actually speak to her.
If you are weak, insecure, emotional, and unconfident, women will never take notice of you - if they do, it often isn't a good impression and you are left as "creepy."
If you have zero self-control and zero emotional-control you are going to lose every time.
You could have all of the money in the world, if you lack self-control, you are going to lose.
There are men that are driven by their insecurities - the feeling that they will never be good enough.
As I mentioned previously, if you channel your insecurities into something productive so that they become a source of strength, you cannot lose - you just can't lose sight of who you are at the end of the day.
Never try and justify shitty behavior.
Be confident, be stoic, be driven, and become a man worthy of respect.