One area of research that has been gaining my interest as of late is the idea behind narcissism and psychopathy.
In other words, the reasoning as to why people develop narcissism and become psychopathic.
Narcissism is an interesting and also touchy subject to talk about because of the negative feeling that is attached to the word.
Calling someone a narcissist or a a psychopath is seen as offensive, but the truth about it is, most people don't know the actual meaning or definition behind either of these words.
When you here somebody say "I was dating a narcissist", is it because they were so self-absorbed in exploiting others to consume pleasure? Or is it because they did something else that you didn't like and now you label them as a narcissist?
Most people know narcissism to some degree of definition - relating it to some sort of self-absorption or personal obsession someone has for themselves.
In plain speak, a narcissist is someone who is self-centered and takes an excessive interest for admiration in oneself, or one's physical appearance.
We see narcissism all over the world today, ranging from women modeling on their Instagram for attention, or men flying around the world flashing their money and sleeping with tons of women.
Narcissism and promiscuity are closely related because we know promiscuity is an addiction to attention, and narcissism is self-absorption.
When we see women online being promiscuous and posting revealing photos of their bodies, it is highly correlated with narcissism and their addiction to attention.
I am finding it interesting that there is a fair amount of clinical research being done on promiscuous behavior and its effects on the brain.
We now know through clinical research that promiscuous behavior is directly correlated to mental disorders, particularly narcissism and psychopathy.
Professor Sam Vaknin is a professor in psychology and has dedicated a majority of his work to understanding narcissism and psychopathy.
He associates promiscuous behavior, particularly in women, as being part of the type B mental disorder class.
Type B mental disorders are associated with antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder.
So now we know that when we see a promiscuous woman online or a woman that is promiscuous in her personal life, she is clinically defined as being a narcissist.
When you really think about it, it makes perfect sense because a woman that is putting herself out there does so because she subconsciously knows that she is going to get attention from men.
It is the narcissistic mentality that tries to justify promiscuous behavior as anything other than purposely needing attention.
I have spoken before in previous blog posts that I do believe a woman is capable of overcoming the impulse of needing validation from new men, but it is going to take more on her end and the pursuit of something larger than herself.
So where does this leave men?
Well, for one, we can argue that it is men that are creating a society of narcissistic women because it is men giving in to the nonsense online and social media, buying OnlyFans, blowing up girls for looking good in a bikini etc.
It is men fueling the ego of these women to be more promiscuous and sell more of themselves all for short-term gratification.
The reason why hookup culture is so prominent in today's culture is because of the hyper-sexualization of women in Western culture.
The reason why promiscuity exists to the level it does is because of men giving women attention for providing absolutely no value other than being a pretty face with a good body.
Dr. Jordan Peterson described the personality traits of those who partake in short-term hookups and one night stands as being narcissistic, psychopathic, Machiavellian, and sadistic.
He then proceeded to describe psychopaths as those who use themselves or other people for short-term gratification.
So let's look at the Instagram model example again.
Men see a beautiful woman posting pictures in bikinis, putting much of her personal life out on the internet, and he can't help but follow her, like and comment on all of her photos, and message her endlessly trying to get her attention.
Not only is this creating narcissism and psychopathic traits in the women for feeding her addition to receiving validation from new men, it is psychopathic men that are feeding their own short-term pleasure by obsessing over beautiful women.
This is why when I see beautiful women that are promiscuous being single, I see a woman that has been let down by men in her life and now seeks validation from as many new men as she can.
The problem is that society is rewarding bad behavior and this is why it is so easy for men and women to fall into the trap of self-absorption and short-term gratification.
When you have only sought out pleasure, you have programmed your mind and your intuition to only seek out things of that nature.
This is why when you see a promiscuous woman, she is often attracting men that severely lack in self-esteem because they themselves have low self-esteem.
They seek out what is familiar to them because that is the story they have continued to reinforce throughout the course of their lives.
This is why giving into short-term pleasure has long-term consequences - you are programming yourself to see what isn't there and you fail to get on the right path.
The question then becomes, how does one spot or identify a narcissist or psychopath?
Looking through a persons past history is a start.
This is why a woman's past means a lot to men because her past will often become his future if she has not done the spiritual work on herself to relieve herself from it.
But oftentimes, narcissistic and psychopathic women are women with promiscuous pasts, and have partaken in many short-term hookups and sexual experiences with men.
There has been scientific studies done to show that women with over 10 sexual partners in their lives are more likely to divorce and more likely to cheat.
With men, it is much of the same ordeal.
While the discussion of body count for men has different effects then it does for women, when you are dealing with men that has has many sexual experiences with many women over an extended period of time, he is a man that has learned how to exploit women for his own short-term gratification.
So while the body count in general may not mean as much to women as it does to men, a man that sleeps with hundreds of women has one, helped contribute to creating narcissistic women, and two, develops his own form of psychopathy.
Chasing short-term pleasure and hookups is bad practice for humans psychologically.
Seeking pleasure over a long enough period of time becomes who you are because you are programming yourself to only seek and attract things with no substance in life.
Another way you can identify men that are narcissistic or psychopathic is also their need for validation.
A man's need for validation from others is often rooted in insecurity, much like it is for women.
So when you see men on dating apps, you know it is because he is looking for attention and just trying to sleep around with whoever will give him that attention.
Confident men are not on dating apps looking for love, the same way beautiful women do not need dating apps to get attention.
This is another signal of being able to identify a narcissist is their time spent on dating apps.
A beautiful woman is only on a dating app for one reason - to get attention because beautiful women have no problem getting attention from men outside of dating apps.
They put themselves in that position to get attention and often try and mask it as them trying to find love.
As soon as you meet someone that is more worried about the way that they look, the way that they dress, their plastic surgery or cosmetics, their body etc. you are in the presence of a narcissist.
I learned this through my years of bodybuilding and it took me awhile to realize that only worrying about how I looked not only made me look worse, but took a toll on my mental health and how I looked at other people.
So, when you meet someone that is overly consumed in their own looks, you know they are not thinking about you or anyone else for that matter, other than themselves.
Overcoming these types of behaviors takes a lot of mental work.
It takes a lot more than going to therapy and shouting affirmations at yourself - it requires true genuine action and change in behavior.
If you are a man or a woman reading this, this is exactly why working on building yourself is the single most important thing you can do so that you can sort out the people with narcissistic and psychopathic qualities and only attract people with true genuine values and intentions.
It is always important to stay true to who you are and not lie to yourself and lie to others about who you are so that you can actually trust your own intuition and not program it to seek things that serve you no genuine purpose other than pain or anxiety.