When it comes to dating and relationships, men need to lead.
Being as that it is a man's duty to provide and protect, the man should be capable of making sound decisions for the benefit of the family, as well as setting the rules for the house and everyone in it.
I have said it before and I will say it again, men want respect!
We want to know that our woman is capable of respecting our decisions and whatever expectations we may have of her.
This is why it is important for men, especially in the beginning stages, to set boundaries for the woman he chooses to date.
With that being said, a man must first discover what he is and what he is not willing to tolerate when it comes to dating.
In other words, a man must first establish a foundation of self-respect before he is to set boundaries for a woman in a relationship.
This means that a man must be willing and capable of commitment, and be pursuing a genuine purpose in life.
The only way a woman is ever truly going to respect a man is if she can see that he is a man of integrity, competence, confidence, and commitment.
If a man truly respects himself, him setting boundaries for the woman is nothing out of the ordinary.
If I say that I don't want you going out drinking with your friends and putting yourself in a position to be approached by other men, then I expect that wish to be respected.
If I say that you're not to respond to other men on social media or to the text from your ex, then I expect that wish to be respected.
If I say that you are not to have "guy friends", again, I expect that wish to be respected.
When it comes to having boundaries, it is important to note that the reason I have these expectations of you is because I have these expectations for myself.
This is something both men and women need to understand - when it comes to having boundaries, it means that the expectations you set for someone else is something that is to be reciprocated.
You simply cannot set boundaries for someone else if you cannot hold up your end of the deal and respect your own boundaries.
If you don't want your woman being accessible to other men, then it means as a man, you are not making yourself accessible to other women.
This is a mutual understanding built on the foundation of respect.
For the ladies out there, understand that men feel loved by being respected.
If a man can confidently say that there is no chance for his woman to even look at another man let alone make herself accessible to one, then you are going to be a woman that man is never going to want to lose.
However, if you are a woman who makes herself accessible to other men while in a relationship, then you lack the number one fundamental law for true love.
You can sit here and claim to love your man all you want, as soon as you express interest in another man, whether it's for attention or because you're bored with your man at home, then you must understand that you lack the ability of truly being able to love a man.
If you do not respect your man or his peace, then you do not love him and it really is that simple.
One thing that I have learned over the years of being in male entertainment is the lack of respect women have for their man at home.
Women will take "girls trips" and willingly throw themselves at other men for attention.
While I wish I could sit here and sympathize with their man at home, I can't...
The fact his woman is here throwing herself at me tells me he failed to take the necessary action to set that boundary with her.
This is why it is important for both men and women to understand what respect actually means.
A woman is a reflection of her man and how she carries herself will tell you everything you need to know about her man.
If his woman is out and about, making herself accessible to other men whether it be online or in person, then not only does it display that she has no respect for her man, but other men will lose respect for her man for the sheer fact she is making herself accessible.
As soon as a woman makes herself accessible to other men, other men know that they can have her.
While in a woman's mind it could be just for "fun" and there is "no chance" for another man to get with her, as soon as another man knows he can get her attention, he knows that he can have her.
This is why men with boundaries come off as "controlling".
A man with boundaries knows his worth and knows what he is and isn't willing to tolerate, so naturally, yes, a man with self-respect is going to be more controlling and expect more of you, not because he is "insecure" but because he has standards for himself.
Men with boundaries understand how other men think.
So while it might not be a big deal to a lot of women out there to just get attention from other men or "shoot the shit" with another man at the bar, it is a big deal to men because we know what other men's intentions are and how men actually think.
The point of men having boundaries is like saying "if I am going to be responsible for you and your well-being, if I am going to prioritize you, then I expect these things from you."
If a man is respectable and capable of being a protector and provider, then he has every right to walk away at the first sign of disrespect.
Something that men need to come to grips with is walking away from a woman that disrespects them.
It doesn't matter how much you love her or how much time you have invested with her, if she disrespects your boundaries and you have been holding up your end of the deal, then you must learn to walk away.
This will save you a lot of time later on in life.
The truth is, we all have to get heartbroken a time or two before we become capable of learning our lesson.
The keyword here is capable because some people never learn their lesson and will continue to fall back to the same behaviors attracting the same partners over and over again.
I am guilty of it just like everyone else!
However, I have learned over the years what I am and am not willing to tolerate as a man because at this point, I know where my life is going and what I want it to look like so whatever women I choose is going to have to be on-board with that.
I could be dating Kim Kardashian, I will still walk away at the first sign of disrespect.
One thing I have learned as I have gotten older is not to over-rationalize every decision, especially in relationships.
We are humans at the end of the day and sometimes we just need to feel connected to others.
If a woman genuinely makes your life easier and she truly respects you and your boundaries, then over-rationalizing is a one-way ticket to ending up lonely and miserable.
So, it is important that we find balance in this sense but still remain true to who we are, what our purpose and mission in life is, and continue to work every single day at bringing the best out of ourselves and everyone around us.