When a man and a woman are truly in love, it is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.
A man living in his true masculine and a woman living in her true feminine coming together to form an unbreakable bond is a beautiful thing.
I am not talking about two people that just end up settling for one another, I am talking about true organic love between a man and a woman.
We have spoken in previous blogs about women who settle for men and why they end up settling for a man - mainly for security and stability in some way, shape, or form.
Oftentimes when a woman settles for the man she is with, she is lacking one key component that keeps her from ever being able to truly fall in love with him, and that component is genuine desire.
When a woman has true genuine desire for a man, she is able to establish a foundation for being able to have an emotional connection to that man.
Whereas when a woman settles for security, oftentimes she ends up resenting the man in some way.
Relationships get hard at times and when they do get hard, the resentment between two people who decided to settle for one another begins to grow.
This does not go without mentioning that a woman having real genuine desire for a man is just as important as a man having real genuine desire for a woman.
If there is nothing to fall back on when the relationship starts to get tough, the two will eventually end up separating, or they are propping open the door for infidelity.
When people end up settling in a relationship, infidelity becomes more common than some would think.
Sometimes when men are angry with the girl they're with, they just end up trying to find a new girl to have sex with - I have seen this happen.
Oftentimes when a woman is not happy in her relationship, she is out seeking new validation from men - I have also seen this happen.
Even if a woman claims to be happy with her man, if she is entertaining men behind closed doors that she shouldn't be, she has officially committed to settling for the man that she is with.
Now, I have seen this on both sides and I am even guilty of it myself in my earlier 20's.
I used to think messaging other girls, even if the conversation was appropriate, wasn't considered cheating and the reality of it is, I was wrong and childish for thinking this way.
Even when I was with a woman with whom I had genuine desire for, I still made the mistake of messaging another woman for literally no reason at all except for attention.
Both men and women are guilty of doing stuff like this and still like to not consider it cheating even though it is fully 100% cheating.
Anytime a man or a woman is entertaining someone they shouldn't be entertaining behind closed doors, they are cheating.
Women are attention seekers, they are always going to want attention from men.
Promiscuous women are addicted to seeking validation from men and oftentimes, promiscuous women will end up settling for a man and continue to talk to other men behind closed doors - even if she claims to be "in love" with her man.
I have seen this happen a million times before and I have even experienced this personally because I have dated promiscuous women that are addicted to seeking male validation.
When a woman is truly addicted to male attention, there is nothing her man can do because she no longer sees him as a man for validation.
If your woman has no genuine desire towards you, especially if she is promiscuous, she is going to seek validation from other men.
By today's standards, men are guilty of doing much of the same.
Instead of just walking away from a woman for whom they have no desire towards, they will end up stringing her along while still trying to get attention from other women.
This is why things like social media and dating apps are programming people's minds to think that it is okay to have "options" because as soon as something doesn't work out in your favor, you can just have someone else right away.
This is a recipe for failure and for becoming highly insecure.
This false sense of options plays a huge trick on the human psyche and will often leave you insecure and lonely.
It is okay to be desirable by other people, especially if you are an attractive male or female as it is just a natural part of life, but putting yourself out there to become just another option for someone else will absolutely damage your self-esteem.
To sit there and think you have genuine "desire" for someone you met on a dating app is a foolish mindset.
Sure, you could be attracted to someone you meet on a dating app, but that doesn't mean that you will have genuine desire for them.
I speak on this personally because I myself have only ever experienced having true genuine desire for two women that I have ever met.
To me, genuine desire is seeing a woman that sticks out above the rest.
I have been around thousands of beautiful women in my life and there have only ever been two women that I have seen and felt strong desire for.
It is very easy for a man to look at a beautiful woman and think "man, I would love to have sex with her" and it is very much common for all men when it comes to beautiful women - even if he doesn't say it out loud, he is thinking it.
However, it is very different to see a woman stick out above the rest and think "this woman has something that I want and I don't know why."
The first thought is common, however, the second thought is not as common, at least in my experience.
To think you could possibly get that kind of feeling through a dating app is just childish in my opinion because the reality of it is, not only did that person swipe right on you, but they probably swiped right on ten others that very same day, and ten others the day after, and ten others the day after that - meanwhile, you are doing the very same thing, swiping on multiple people to get your dopamine spike for the day and get the attention you're looking for.
Real genuine desire is looking at someone and wanting to literally rip their clothes off at any minute of the day.
If a woman does not want to jump her man's bones whenever she can, she has no real desire for him, and the same holds true for men.
If she has no real desire for her man, she will eventually settle for security and most likely seek attention from other men somewhere down the line.
This is why I myself am a big believer in the old fashioned method of finding someone organically because that feeling you get when you see someone in person that gives you the urge to want to go up and talk to them is that initial spark of desire.
Whereas on a dating app, you swipe right on some dick head, meet up with him and see he actually looks like a dick head and you end up settling for him.
You aren't that attracted to him but he has qualities that you like so you decide to give it a shot, maybe date him for a few weeks or a few months, then realize he isn't actually what you wanted so you start seeking attention out from new men.
This is relatively common for women by today's standards of dating.
When a woman has no real desire for a man, she will be unable to establish a foundation of having true love for him, which is often why entertaining other men almost becomes a thoughtless process.
But the reality of it is, when both a man and a woman have true genuine desire for one another, they are able to build a genuine connection with one another, share deep trust in one another, and want to learn how to handle one another on an emotional level.
If your relationship gets hard and she doesn't want to jump your bones, you have a problem gentlemen.
If she has no real desire for you, she will eventually not want to have sex with you anymore and sex to her will feel more of an obligation, while she would rather be having sex with a man for whom she has real desire for.
This is why I believe it is so important for people to actually build themselves into people with actual value so that you have something genuine to offer someone else.
If you enter a relationship just looking for what the other person can do for you instead of what you can do for them, it is never going to last long term and even if it does last, you will eventually end up settling for whatever security the other person can provide you with.
You can be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if you have not done anything to be able to provide genuine substance for a man, men are only going to value you for your looks.
You could be the most handsome guy in the world, but if you are not working to build yourself into a useful man, no woman is ever truly going to see you as desirable.
The reality of all of this is, genuine desire matters and if you do not have genuine desire for your partner or you are not doing the to work to be able to attract someone for whom you have genuine desire for, then you are never going to find what you are looking for.