It is to no-one's surprise by now that I am a believer in the traditional masculine/feminine roles in a relationship, and in society.
The goal here is not to force my own beliefs upon your own, but to simply share a perspective that maybe you haven't thought of before.
A lot of what I discuss on this platform is basic human principles that I believe anyone can add to their lives to live a more peaceful, fulfilling life.
Things like building confidence, having self-respect, self-accountability, self-awareness, and self-control are all things people can work on to make their lives change for the better.
The problem that most people have is doing the work because the work is hard!
It takes time, patience, consistency, and delayed gratification before anyone can truly reap the rewards of their efforts.
The problem is we live in a society that relies solely on instant gratification where people want everything easy, almost as if they would rather have good things handed to them.
The reality of it is, nothing in life worth having is going to come easy - everything good in life is going to take hard work, consistency, focus, and delayed gratification.
You are never going to just wake up one day with the body of your dreams without putting in years of consistent effort and hard work in the gym.
You are never going to find the right person to share your life with if you continue down the path of least resistance and do absolutely nothing to help your own well-being first.
Most people are often unaware of their own behavior, and having this lack of self-awareness will hinder one's ability of making changes in their lives.
It is much easier for someone to say one thing, but do the complete opposite and this comes from a complete lack of self-awareness and lack of self-control.
As I have stated in previous blogs: life is going to be hard one way or another, however, we get to choose which hard we would rather have.
We could take the path of least resistance, do absolutely nothing except "wait" to see if our lives get any better, or we take action, learn new behavior, and make commitments to ourselves everyday to work for the things that we want in life.
When it comes to men, self-control is one of the most essential qualities that we can possess.
A man that practices self-control is able to make commitments to himself and live up to those commitments.
When a woman practices self-control, she then opens herself up to build an unlimited amount of confidence because she too, is able to make commitments to herself and live up to those commitments.
Oftentimes when men and women lack confidence and self-control, they lack the ability to commit to themselves and to others.
Lack of self-control stems from a lack of emotional control.
Men that lack emotional control, often lack purpose - I find these two to be correlated for a specific reason.
When a man lacks purpose, he lacks drive to get up and be useful every single day.
When a man isn't being useful, this is when thoughts of self-doubt creep in and begin to effect his decision making process.
Men that lack emotional control often end up being dangerous to society.
Think about all of the school shooters and mass murderers we have had in the last 40-50 years, even more-so in the last 10-20 years.
When a man lacks emotional control, this is often how men become depressed and feel hopeless as if there is no way to escape it.
I have personally found the only way for me to escape my own negative thoughts is by being more productive and finding new things that give me leverage amongst the rest.
Filling my day with nothing but things that make me stronger, smarter, and more capable as a man is the only remedy I have found to keep the negative thoughts from consuming me.
This is why for men, you get to choose how you let emotions effect you.
Granted, I know trauma has different effects on different people, but for men, trauma can be used as a source of strength, or a source of weakness.
The more shit that a man has had to go through can allow him to build habits to make sure he and the one's he loves and cares about never have to go through it again, or he can take the path of least resistance and allow his insecurities to consume his mind, and his behavior.
If a man has done nothing but face rejection his entire life, he can choose whether he continues to allow people to reject him because it is what he is used to (the path of least resistance), or he can go to the gym, build a great body, make more money, build himself into a capable man, and prove to the people that rejected him that they made the biggest mistake of their lives by letting him go.
The biggest mistake anyone could ever do is try to convince a man that it is okay for him to be emotional and vulnerable.
The reason for this is because the world truly does not give a fuck about how men feel about anything, regardless of what the world and mainstream media try and portray.
The world only cares about how useful a man can be to society, not how he feels.
This modern mental framework that men need to be more emotional because we suffer in silence is not the answer.
It is easy for a woman to sit there and say that it is "okay" for a man to be emotionally vulnerable because women themselves, are emotional beings.
Women are emotional feelers and men are the stoic doers of a society - this is the only framework that has existed the longest throughout any period of human history.
Think about it, when a woman is going through hardship, everyone is checking in on her to make sure that she is okay on a regular basis - we are programmed to care more about a woman's feelings.
When a man is going through hardship, people will give him some fake sympathy and forget about him 5 minutes later - society is not programmed to give a shit how a man feels or what he is going through because people have their own problems to think about.
This is why a man only needs a small circle of people around him that truly care about him, hold him accountable, and want to see him win.
If a woman is an emotional feeler and she is also with an emotional man, how can anyone expect to get anything done?
If a woman is emotional, why wouldn't she want to be with a purpose driven man that is stoic and has control over his emotions?
The way that I see it, if a woman is having an emotional breakdown and is with a man that has no control over his emotions, he is never going to be able to tend to her needs because he lacks the emotional stability to pick his woman up when she is down.
This doesn't go without mentioning that men are always going to feel like shit because life is stressful, the amount of responsibility bestowed upon us only grows as we age.
Life is going to get hard for every single one of us but how we choose to let the hard times effect us is what is going to determine if we become stronger, or we become weaker.
As a man, you can walk through fire and choose to let it burn you, or you can pull yourself out, forge yourself into something stronger, and throw yourself back into the fire to repeat the process over and over again until you become the man that you were destined to be.
A man that is purpose-driven and is able to master his mind, his emotions, and his body is a man in full and is inherently what women need from a man.
The problem is, everyone is being encouraged to go against our natural biological premise to live up to the societal "norm", instead of doing the one thing that has worked the absolute longest and has gotten us up to this point in time - men being men, and women being women.
Men that act like women and women that act like men is exactly why we face a lot of the troubles we face today, and it all stems from a lack of emotional control.
It is okay to feel like shit because that is a natural part of life, but doing absolutely nothing to better your situation mentally, physically, or emotionally is never going to save you from yourself - you HAVE to take action.
There is always going to be more work to be done, regardless of how you feel about it.
I have learned that it doesn't matter how I am feeling on any particular day, I still have to do the same things that I need to do to become a better version of myself.
I could wake up on the complete wrong side of the bed - I still have to write my blogs everyday, I still have to go to the gym to workout everyday, I still have horses to train, I still have to go to work, I still have two chapters to read, I still have ten pages of my book to write...
The point that I am trying to make is that it truly does not matter how I feel, the same tasks get done every single day because these are the things that I know bring me the most leverage.
I welcome the shitty days with open arms because those are the days when the work gets harder and after the work is done, there is a satisfying feeling of accomplishment.
The funny thing is though, the work is never truly done because I have to wake up and do the same thing the day after, and the day after that, and the day after that, every single day for the next 70 years of my life.
I have accepted this as my fate and I think any man or woman could benefit by accepting a life of commitment to make themselves better people.
Instead of promoting men to be weak, emotional, and vulnerable, men need to be encouraged to be strong, confident, stoic, and purpose-driven men.
A man that is confident, has control over his emotions, and is driven towards his purpose in life is a man that is capable of bringing endless amounts of value to the people around him.