I find it interesting just how much people don't like feeling vulnerable.
The thing is, I understand why someone would feel vulnerable because I myself have moments of vulnerability.
Nobody likes the feeling because it makes you feel weak and powerless.
The thought of having someone break down your barriers when you have been nothing but protective over yourself can be an overwhelming feeling.
I have learned that vulnerability is derived from one's own insecurities. Simply put, one always feels they need to have a front to mask how they truly feel inside because some form of trauma has made them feel that way.
The truth is, I don't think anyone wants to feel vulnerable. It is a reactionary response to being exposed to some form of trauma at some point in your life.
Maybe you're a woman and you genuinely feel like you have trouble opening up to a man because you have been let down by men you have opened up to in your past.
Maybe you are a woman that always feels like you need to present yourself a certain way to others because you don't want other people to see the real you.
These are all derived from insecurities. What I mean is, something triggered a negative emotional response that now lives in your subconscious mind and effects your conscious thoughts and actions in real time.
This is why when I preach on self-reflection and self-awareness, it stems from having the ability to take accountability for your own actions in order to fix how you feel and how things effect you.
One thing that men truly crave from a woman is authenticity.
A woman's ability to stay true to herself even in her vulnerable moments is an attractive quality for a women to possess.
When a woman is in a vulnerable state, there is nowhere for her to hide - that is the true her and this is what a real man wants from a woman.
I can fully understand how a man could make a woman feel insecure. When a woman is tied emotionally to someone and they let her down, this starts to develop a strong emotional barrier over a long enough period of time. This is why women either become independent or end up taking the path of promiscuity - to fill the void that they themselves cannot deal with on their own.
It isn't until one is able to take self-accountability and responsibility for the things they have done wrong in their past before one begins to change their patterns.
As a man, it is slightly different.
Experiencing trauma as a man is naturally what is supposed to make a man become stronger.
Men who let trauma effect them emotionally, end up becoming weak men and this is part of the dilemma men face today.
Men today simply don't act like men because men themselves, take no accountability for the things they have done wrong in their past.
If a man takes no accountability and has no self-respect or self-control, he becomes a weak man.
It is understandable why a woman would feel insecure and vulnerable as a result of being let down by a man, however it is not acceptable for a man to allow his emotions to get the best of him.
I speak on this with personal experience because I have let my emotions get the best of me in the past.
I have experienced being with women that weren't a good fit for me and ended up making me feel insecure as a result.
It wasn't until I actually had the ability to sit down, clear my mind and take responsibility for everything that has ever gone wrong in my life until it all started to make sense.
As a man, we need to take responsibility for everything that has ever gone wrong in our lives if we ever plan on being able to use it as strength instead of a weakness or vulnerability. This same principle applies to women as well.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where women are naturally going to experience more emotional trauma as a result of men failing to be men.
If you are a woman that has experienced emotional trauma because of a man, the first step to fixing it is taking responsibility for everything you have ever done wrong to make yourself feel the way that you do.
It is being able to recognize that the negative emotion you feel is a result of something you have caused in your past and haven't taken the time to identify and work on fixing yet.
There is no excuse for a man to allow his emotions to make him weak - part of being a man is being able to have emotional control because emotional control is the opposite of weakness.
Men go through things that trigger negative emotions as well, but it is a mans job to get back to work and focus on the things that make him strong.
I am not saying that men aren't allowed to feel things because feeling things is all a part of the human experience. What I am saying is that a man must be able to identify that the negative feeling he has is only temporary and there are more important things to worry about than the one thing that makes him feel like shit.
This is why men need to have a purpose. If a man is purpose driven, he doesn't have time to sit there and worry about how he feels - he understands that there are things that he must get done in order for his life to continue moving forward.
If a man has no purpose, he is going to allow the woman that broke his heart 10 years ago keep him from being able to live out the rest of his life with honor.
The moral of today's post is that vulnerability is all a part of the human experience.
I think the first step to fixing your true genuine weaknesses is being able to take accountability for your past and work on turning those weaknesses into your strengths.
As a result, you will begin to attract more people into your life that are accepting of who you are and what you have to offer, but it all starts with you.
The truth is, nobody wants to go through a life feeling anxious and sad about everything just because someone or something else made them feel that way.
The human spirit was designed to flourish.
In order to flourish, one must be able to confront their past, face their insecurities, and continue to work and focus on the things that allow them to stay true to themselves and provide value to those around them.
It is okay to feel vulnerable as being vulnerable is all a part of the human experience - it means that you are able to feel things.
Making sure that your own vulnerabilities don't keep you from being able to live the life you want is a personal choice that only you have control over.