One thing I have realized when it comes to people is that human behavior works in very similar patterns.
Humans in general, are easily predictable if you are one that pays close attention to the things that people do.
When you truly sit down and think about why human behavior is easily predictable it makes complete sense when you look at it in terms of a lack of self-awareness.
We live in a time now where people are becoming more spiritual and are understanding of what self-awareness means conceptually, without actually practicing it.
It isn't until one is able to take a piece of information and actually apply it to something for someone to gain a genuine understanding of what that thing is.
For example, I could sit here and read books all day long, but if I do not apply any of the knowledge that I am learning to something in real time, then the information is useless and I have learned nothing.
This is why I have discussed previously on the importance of changing our behavior so that we can open up our capacity to learn new things.
If we continue to do the same things over and over again and expect different results with no change in our behavior, then we will forever lack the capacity to learn new things.
It isn't until one begins to apply new behaviors that one will open themselves up to learn new things and thus, become less predictable in their behavior.
The thing I have noticed about people, especially women, is that oftentimes when someone is insecure, they understand why they are insecure, but they also do nothing to change their behavior.
This is what I mean by people having a lack of self-awareness - they are aware enough to understand they are insecure and why they are insecure, but they do nothing to change their behavior to do something more productive to get different results for the thing they are insecure about.
We live in a culture that relies on things like therapy and religion to solve peoples problems for them.
While I do find myself becoming one with God in my older years, I also know that Scripture was not written for someone to just have something to believe in, but a guide as to how one should behave.
Things like therapy and religion will only get someone so far without action.
If you pay someone to talk about your problems with you, all it does is it puts a bandage over a wound that you continue to re-hash with someone else, but it doesn't actually solve the problem because eventually, those same insecurities will come back to haunt you if you do nothing to change the way that you operate.
It is the same with religion - it's great that people have something to believe in and have a baseline of morality, but if you do not actually apply what is written in Scripture to your life, then the information is useless.
If people claim to be religious and act like degenerates, then the information they have consumed is useless because they failed to actually apply that moral code.
The point that I am trying to make is that people fail to recognize that their behavior needs to change if they wish to become strong and be able to bring actual value to other people.
Because of lack of self-awareness, I oftentimes beg the question if women genuinely sabotage love when it comes to relationships.
Given that I have always had a soft spot for what society deems as "broken women", I often wonder if many times women that have been through trauma will deliberately throw away what you are offering them because it is unfamiliar to them.
In my experience, almost every women I have ever liked has a pattern and many of their patterns align with one another, even though they are all different people who come from different backgrounds.
This is what I mean by humans being predictable because even though people are different in who they are as people, we all relatively do the same exact things behaviorally.
I have become so in-tune with picking up on women's patterns, that I can almost always predict what they are going to do next - especially if they have experienced trauma in their past.
I have always had a heart for women with traumatic pasts and I have stated in recent blogs that I always tried to be the one to "fix" them and show them that there are good men out there that do appreciate them.
What I have also learned through experience is that you CANNOT fix anyone that doesn't wish to be fixed.
You could be the perfect man for a woman on paper and still have nothing to offer her at the end of the day.
I have found that a woman will often sabotage a man's love if she has had a traumatic past and this is often why traumatized women will always seek out chaotic men to be in a relationship with because it is familiar to them.
When a good guy ends up with a chaotic woman, she is never going to truly accept what he has to offer because what he brings to the table is completely unfamiliar to what she is used to.
While most women, in theory, want a good man that is loyal and capable of protecting them, chaotic women will naturally seek out chaotic men because good, confident men aren't what they are used to.
It doesn't mean that a good man still can't make an impact because oftentimes, a good man will make the biggest impact on a woman who has had a traumatic background.
I have learned through experience that oftentimes, relationships between good men and chaotic women don't typically last very long but tend to have the biggest impacts on a woman's life.
A message to men: it does not matter how good you are to her, if she comes from a chaotic background, she will sabotage your love.
A woman will sabotage love that is unfamiliar to her and oftentimes it is because she feels that she doesn't deserve it.
This will then naturally fall into the category of always wanting what we can't have.
This doesn't go without mentioning that men will also sabotage love they aren't used to.
Men will also sabotage love that they are unfamiliar with but the problem is that men oftentimes will buy into it for sex.
Men more-so enjoy the idea of having consistent sex, but still being able to look for the woman that is familiar to them.
Women will buy into it looking for love, while men will buy into it looking for sex.
The truth is, both men and women will sabotage love.
From what I have seen and other men that I know have seen, is that traumatized women will always sabotage the love you give them because they know it is not what they actually want.
Consciously, it is easy to sit here and talk about the things that we want, but the things we subconsciously want are the things we actually want.
It isn't until one changes their behavior and begins to take action towards the things that they say that they want that those things start to become available.
A woman can say that she wants a good man all she wants, but if she can't relieve herself from her past, no man will ever be good enough for her.
No man is going to be able to swoop in and give a woman the life she thought she's always wanted if she still carries her past traumas with her.
Oftentimes when a woman is promiscuous, she is addicted to attention.
It will not matter how good a man is to a woman with a promiscuous past, her seek for attention from other men will always be stronger than her feelings for him.
They will always be talking to men they shouldn't be talking to behind closed doors, or thinking about other men when she is with you, especially if she sees an attractive man out in public.
Women are always going to seek attention from men but biologically speaking, women are wired to only seek attention from one man to pair bond with.
When a woman has done nothing but get attention from a bunch of men, it becomes a subconscious addiction and addiction is a much harder problem to solve.
This is why women with promiscuous pasts oftentimes have trouble being able to pair bond with one man in their present or future because of their constant need for approval from other men.
Addiction is a hard problem to solve because it takes so much work from the woman's side of things to be able to direct that addictive energy into things that are actually productive.
This is why if a woman does nothing to change her behavior, if she continues to talk to other men and make herself accessible to other men whether it be in public, on social media, on dating apps etc. she will never be able to shake her addiction for wanting attention.
There is psychological and biological reasoning behind this and it is important for men to be aware that it doesn't matter how hard you try or how good you are to her, you cannot change her unless she truly does the work to change herself and change her behavior.
This post is not to shit on women, but to also make women aware of the harm that self-sabotage can do to you, and to a potential partner.
If you want good things to come to you in life, then you must be willing to do the work on yourself first before anyone else can come in and add to your life and bring the best out of you.
No man will ever be able to bring you peace and give you the life you thought you have always wanted if you cannot learn to bring yourself peace first.
Become aware of your behavior, start taking action towards things that are productive, and your life will begin to change.