Disappointment is something that we as humans experience throughout the course of our lives.
I am sure everyone reading this can think back to a time when things didn't entirely work out in their favor.
Oftentimes when things do not workout the way we had hoped, we build up negative feelings towards ourselves and others.
Feelings of resentment, guilt, not being good enough etc. swarm our minds and we become trapped replaying the same scenario over and over in our minds, and thinking about what we could have done differently to achieve our intended outcome.
If you think back to our post from two days ago, The Most Powerful Insecurity, we discussed in-depth about how we can deal with these negative feelings and use them as a source of power.
How we deal with disappointment can happen one of two ways: we either do nothing and let ourselves become consumed in our thoughts, or we get to the root of our disappointment and insecurities and plan a way to keep moving forward.
In order to keep moving forward, we must first understand that disappointment is rooted in our own insecurities.
When things do not go our way and we feel like nothing goes our way, it continues to reinforce our repeated behavior patterns.
This is how one becomes consumed by their insecurities.
It is also important to note that the reason we feel disappointed when things do not go our way is because we set high expectations towards a particular outcome.
Dating serves as a good example of how one can become disappointed by setting too high of expectations.
Most people who decide to get into relationships do so with an intended goal of creating something long term with a particular person.
We become consumed in our feelings towards another person that we almost never think as to what would happen if the relationship didn't work out.
We set higher expectations the more time we invest into someone else, and our feelings towards the other person grow stronger the more we invest ourselves.
When things don't work out, we are often left disappointed because the reality in which we saw ourselves with that person long term no longer exists.
Every time we set high expectations, we open the door for disappointment.
Now, I am not saying to not have high standards for yourself because it is important to want more out of life.
But what I am saying is that the higher expectations we set, the more emotionally attached we become to certain things.
We must accept that disappointment is part of life and we can only control what we can control.
We cannot control the thoughts and behaviors of others, and we cannot control what is going on in the world around us.
We can only control what happens internally - our own thoughts and behaviors.
We can better strategize our way around disappointment by not setting so high of expectations.
Instead, we need to develop patterns of focus and behavior towards achieving desired outcomes, regardless of the hurdles life decides to throw at us.
This is much easier said than done because as humans, we are emotional beings and we become emotionally attached to things very easily, especially when we feel like certain things soothe our insecurities.
It is a matter of taking things as they come day by day, but still being focused and driven towards our long term goals and desires.
We must accept that even things that seem to be working for us aren't always going to work, and we must develop a new strategy and a new approach to keep ourselves moving forward.
Dealing with disappointment is a matter of strategy and the more we can accept that we can only control what we can control, the more we will be able to stay focused on having the life we truly desire.