It is to no one’s surprise that many modern day relationships are considered to be “toxic.”
In general, a toxic relationship evokes a wide range of emotions for both men and women.
A cycle of repeated poor behavior becomes difficult to escape when emotions are involved.
The constant fluctuation of emotions has an underlying quality of instability and this instability keeps us always wanting more.
At first glance, it seems like that wouldn’t make any sense because logically speaking, most would agree that they prefer a stable relationship over one that is unstable.
Why would anyone crave instability in a relationship?
Unfortunately, our emotions aren’t so black and white, especially for the person that is familiar with unstable relationships.
When something is familiar to us, we unconsciously seek more of it.
We develop a pattern of behavior that is consistent to seeking out the things we say we don’t want because they are familiar to us.
When something unfamiliar comes along, we don’t really know how to make sense of it.
Maybe you actually do meet somebody that is capable of providing the peace and stability you claim to want, but due to the unfamiliarity, it is easy to grow bored.
This is the conflict that many women today face when looking for a partner.
One thing that is important to understand about women is that they are emotional by nature.
The more a woman’s emotions are evoked, the more attached she naturally becomes, which can often trap her in a cycle of seeking out toxic partners.
The constant fluctuation of emotions that come with being in a toxic relationship is often what continues to reinforce a pattern of seeking out partners that evoke those same emotions.
For men, a similar principle applies that we naturally grow accustomed to the instability and unconciously seek that out in a partner.
When a relationship is unstable, it keeps things exciting to an extent because we never truly know what is going to happen next, and this is why stability is seen as boring to those who are unfamiliar with it.
When you’re familiar with things being unstable, the stable partner becomes predictable.
This is why we often will say we want one thing, but our actions and behaviors will reflect the opposite.
Our behaviors reflect that in which we are familiar with unless we are able to consciously change our pattern.
It is important to note that many peoples pursuits of toxic relationships are deeply rooted in having an unstable childhood or some form of emotional trauma.
When we go through emotional trauma or had an unstable childhood, we are constantly looking for the constant fluctuations of emotions - it is what we know.
The only way we learn to accept something stable when it is unfamiliar to us is by first recognizing our behavior patterns and making a conscious effort to change them.
New behaviors require conscious daily practice, especially when we are used to emotional instability.