In hockey, we always used have a saying, "control the controllables."
Controlling the controllables is pretty straight forward - worry about things that you can control. You have control over your effort, your emotions, your willingness to compete, etc.
The point of being able to control the things that you can control is to work hard in essence of something bigger, or a part of a whole - this is the beauty of team sports.
If everyone on the team has full control over what they can control, then we win!
What I think is most important about this lesson is that no matter how hard you try, you still have no control over the effort of your teammates. You have no control over how the coach decides to run the bench, and you damn sure have no control over the mood of the referee.
The only thing we truly have control over is how hard we work, how much we are willing to do the things that are hard, and how far we are willing to take it.
I have played hockey with guys that gave everything they had on every shift they played, and I have played with guys that could give two shits less and spent a majority of their time on the bench in LaLa Land.
I was somewhere in the middle.
I loved playing in games to compete, I loved playing physical, and I loved being able to contribute. But one thing I didn't love was showing up for practice.
Looking back on it, I realized I could have been a great player if I had a simple shift in my mindset. Part of that is because of where I am now mentally in my life - I didn't understand the idea of embracing the suck as much as I do now. I just knew that showing up for practice sucked, I didn't want to be there, and I didn't give my full effort as a result.
I have had games where I was arguably the best player on both teams - I had the ability to take full control of a game when I was firing on all cylinders. I just couldn't sustain that level of control over a consistent basis due to a lack of effort and lack of mental preparation.
As I have gotten older, I realize now where everything went wrong.
I have built myself to a place mentally and physically where failure is not an option. It doesn't matter how shitty I feel, I still need to show up and do what I need to do and give my full effort.
As a man, it is extremely important to have full self-control.
Having the ability to control how things effect you mentally, physically, and emotionally is the difference between being exceptional and being average.
The average person goes through life, influenced by the thoughts and beliefs of everyone and everything around them.
Social media culture has ruined people's ability to identify that they have control over how they operate in the world.
In my opinion, there is no reason to sit at home and be upset over what some dickhead said on the internet because the only thing we have genuine control over is how we operate in the real world.
Is it annoying if someone posts something or says something you don't agree with? Sure!
Does it mean you let it ruin the rest of your day and hinder you from doing the things you have to do? Fuck no!
I have stated in a recent blog about getting upset over what someone else does or says being a programmed response. If something someone else says or does effects you that badly, then do something to change it! Doing something about it is something you do have control over.
Whether you decide to ignore it or go out into the world and do something to change whatever it is that upset you, you are wasting your time worrying about it - control the controllables.
I don't know about you, but I personally have found a lot more peace just focusing on building my future so that I can eventually have a beautiful family and make a positive impact on my short period of time that I have here on this planet.
I take more pride in knowing that I have control and responsibility over everything that happens to me in my life.
I also take pride in knowing that it is my duty to continue to build myself into a strong and respectable man because that is the only way that I can make a true, positive impact on those around me.
I am not perfect and I never will be, but exceptionalism is my duty to myself and those around me.
There are going to be more hard times in life that I will have to deal with - we all will. There is always going to be pain but there is only one way out of it - controlling the things we have control over.