I believe that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
I believe that arrogance and ego come from a place of insecurity. Trying to convince yourself and other people that you are something that you're not because you are not happy with who you are.
Confidence is different.
Confidence is commitment.
Confidence is saying that you're going to do something and getting it done.
Men that are confident enjoy going through the process - they enjoy going through the pain. Confidence is built by going through hardship because you know whatever it is that you are working towards, will make you stronger.
Whether you are a man or a woman, ego is one of the most unattractive qualities a person could possess.
As I stated above, ego is driven from a place of insecurity. It is formed as a defense mechanism due to a lack of confidence.
Usually people with the largest egos tend to try and convince themselves and others that they have more to offer than they really do. These types of people usually spend their time thinking about the things they don't have or wish they had, instead of thinking about how they can add genuine value and be a positive force for others.
Ego is driven from selfishness, instead of selflessness.
Having confidence as a man is truly what gives us the most value. Having a burning desire to do hard things and provide real value to the world comes from a place that is larger than oneself.
There is a time and a place for a man to have an ego. A man needs to be able to look at himself in the mirror and know that he is THE man, and that there is nothing that he can't do because he is undeniably the man that he says he is. He continues to show up and do the work that he says he is going to do, and work everyday at being able to provide value to other people, and himself.
While it may seem controversial, I believe that a woman who is able to play to her man's ego, will give him the most strength. What I mean is, choosing to be with a man that is already self-driven and holding him accountable for doing the things he says he is going to do.
Showing genuine appreciation for your man because you know that he works hard and makes you feel safe is easily the best way to get the most out of a man.
A woman is a reflection of her man and how she carries herself with confidence, will be a direct reflection of the confidence of her man.
All a confident man truly wants is a woman that makes him look good and feel good - a woman that makes him feel like he is THE man. So, how a woman carries herself confidently is extremely important. Her ability to carry herself professionally in public, her ability to deflect attention from other men, her ability to hold her man accountable, and her undeniable loyalty is going to be a woman that a good man is never going to want to lose.
As a woman, it is extremely important that you find a man that is self-driven - you can only add to a man's life if he is driven to do things on his own. If you take away from his life, then you can only expect that he will not keep you around for long. With that being said, it is important that you focus on being a good woman for this type of man, if you wish to be with this kind of man.
The worst thing that a woman could do in my opinion, is have an ego. If you are a woman who thinks her shit don't stink, then you most likely have nothing to offer a real man.
Real men don't care about the things society has programmed women to think are important.
Real men don't care about your lip injections or beauty facials that will keep wrinkles off of your face for one more year out of the rest of your life.
Real men want a strong, confident woman that brings him peace and that is the best possible choice for being the mother of his children.
The last thing a real man wants to do is come home from a stressful day at work and talk about your lip injections. He wants to come home to you because you are his peace.
Ladies, if a man is telling you to get work done, then he is no real man. You need to be able to identify this and act accordingly. Real men want you to be happy and healthy, not a barbie doll.
If a man is egotistical and full of himself, he will most likely search for the easy way out of things and develop no real character.
Men earn their stripes through hard work and their ability to be useful. A man's ability to experience pain and harness it, is what builds character.
I relate building confidence as a person, to building confidence in horses. A horse is biologically programmed to be scared of everything - it is in their nature being prey animals. Horses need to learn confidence through hard work and training - going against what mother nature programmed in them. They need to learn how to be less reactive to build their confidence, especially when it comes to being ridden. They only build confidence through hard work and focus on doing things outside of their comfort zone.
If the only things a man brings are his looks, or his money but isn't capable of providing any real value, then he has a lot of work he needs to do before he actually becomes THE man.
I have said it a million times at this point - a man needs to be strong in all areas of his life if he is going to be THE man. He must be dependable!
It is important for both men and women to be able to recognize what real value is and work hard at becoming a person worthy of that value.
Both men and women must be confident in who they are and what they have to offer if they wish to live a fulfilling life.
Confidence will always trump ego because confidence builds genuine value and character.
Build your confidence, build your character, and live the life you are worthy of living.