Confidence is a necessary skill for human competency.
In fact, confidence and competence go hand-in-hand.
The more confident you are in something, the more capable you are at being successful in whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish.
Today, I want to dive a little bit deeper into the interpersonal connection both confidence and competence have on one another, as well as discuss some of the various pros and cons.
We have discussed many times on our early posts about the importance of confidence and its ability to increase your capabilities in life.
When someone is confident mentally, physically, and emotionally, they naturally become more of an asset than a liability.
This does not go without mentioning that confidence is directly correlated to one's values in life, because truth be told, having false confidence due to a lack of genuine values can set you up for failure, even though you may appear to be successful.
This is why false confidence can portray competence, even though the only thing the person with false confidence is serving is their own ego.
Having a false sense of confidence is mostly driven through one's own insecurities, and while every single one of us has our own insecurities, the person that is driven by their own insecurities by taking advantage of others can create a recipe for long term disaster.
Those who are falsely confident who also appear to be competent tend to follow the path of deeply rooted narcissism and that of a psychopath.
One thing that I think is important to note is that every single one of us is a narcissist by nature.
In a book that I am currently reading, The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene, Greene has an in-depth chapter talking about narcissism and the different levels of narcissism.
The reason we are all narcissists is because every single one of us is seeking validation from others to some extent, and the level in which we are seeking validation from others will determine what level of narcissism we are in.
For example, if we are having a conversation with someone and we are discussing one of our opinions and the other person agrees with us, it makes us feel good to know that someone else shares our point of view - this is a form of seeking approval from someone else because it makes us feel good when others agree with us.
On the other end of the spectrum, there are people that are deeply rooted narcissists that are driven solely from seeking the attention and validation of others.
Promiscuity is a form of deep rooted narcissism because of its nature of seeking validation from many other people through short term sexual gratification.
Many times we see people who display promiscuity and deeply rooted narcissism as being "confident" individuals because of their ability to get people to say "yes" to them, even if it is for meeting a short term desire.
This is false confidence in a nutshell - someone displays a level of charisma or "competency" to fulfill a short term desire, regardless of who they are taking advantage of in that moment.
This false confidence is driven by one's insecurities for seeking pleasure to make them feel good in that moment.
To simplify this point even further: those who take advantage of others to meet their short term desires do so by displaying a false sense of confidence and competence.
Now let's look at the positives for having real confidence and competence.
When one becomes confident in their abilities to serve others, the more competent they become naturally.
This is the biggest difference between someone who is actually confident and competent, versus someone who displays a false sense of confidence and competence - the confident person works to serve others, while the falsely confident person works to serve themselves in the short term.
True confidence is recognizing that your duty is to become the best person who you could possibly become so that you can better serve those that rely on you, and better serve your community.
True competence is a willingness of doing the things that you say that you are going to do and doing them well because you know that it reinforces your abilities to be more reliable to others.
This interconnected relationship between confidence and competence is something that needs to be understood by everyone out there.
Just because you tell yourself a story about yourself that is something you would like to believe to be true, will not give you real confidence, just like telling others that you are somebody you are not will give you real competence.
You display true confidence and competence in your actions and your pursuit to better serve others.
I will drive the point of serving others home as much as humanly possible because this selfless act is truly what brings people fulfillment in life.
Better serving others gives people purpose and a means of going out into the world and doing their part so that they can make an impact.
It is important to note that part of this is playing to your ego because helping other people makes YOU feel good, but its the premise and the intention of your actions that matters the most.
If you are just trying to take advantage of others to make yourself rich or fulfill a short term desire, you will never reach the path of true fulfillment.
Fulfillment comes from within and being able bring value to others to serve your own spirit.