This morning, I had to have a hard conversation with my 14 year old nephew.
He has been struggling with hockey and he has been trying to take his game to the next level.
Since I have been home, he has succeeded my expectations in terms of how much he is willing to work. He has been consistent on the fitness program I put him on, his diet plan, and he is learning more about e-commerce everyday.
While he still complains about having to do things, which, is expected because he has never had to work before like he is now, he is still getting things done when I tell him to.
I am not one to sugar coat anything and I will be 100% honest when I say, he had an awful skate this morning at his hockey practice. I walked away from his practice angry because I am extremely competitive and I just want to see him succeed in everything that he does.
I walked away from his practice angry and upset but then I remembered, I didn't have a confident male figure in my life growing up. I had no-one that I could look up to that could inspire me to work harder and strive to be the best.
As soon as we got in the car, I had to have a heart-to-heart with him on the importance of competitiveness and why he needs to want to be great at things. He has all the talent to be a great hockey player - more talent than I ever had. But the main difference between him and myself is that I played with an edge because I was more competitive.
Where I lacked playing hockey was my work ethic. I had a tremendous amount of skill, but I didn't have my sense's dialed in and I genuinely didn't work hard enough to be great.
My nephew has skills on the ice that I never had and only wished I could have had. He is lazy, just like I was - the difference is, he has me... He has the grown version of me - the version of me that learned how to work exceptionally hard through years of putting my body and mind through stress to achieve things that I set my mind to.
I told him the importance of being competitive because hockey is one of the most competitive sports on the planet. If he doesn't compete, he won't play, or he just becomes a liability. But not only does he need to be competitive on the ice, he needs to be competitive in everything that he does.
The world is a competitive place for a man and in order for a man to succeed, he must be willing to do the things that he doesn't want to do, regardless of how he feels.
Doing the things that we don't want to do, regardless of how we feel is the only way we get stronger - by doing these things over a long enough period of time, we begin to gain confidence.
Confidence is the key to everything. I would argue that confidence is what unlocks the most doors in life as being a man, or a woman.
Having the ability to know exactly who you are, what you have to offer, how hard you are willing to work to get things done, how to communicate, etc. - makes you valuable. Confidence in a man is what makes him capable of being a good man.
A confident man has a presence when he walks into a room - women can feel it, and other men take notice of it because confidence is a highly respectable quality.
Women are extremely attracted to confident men because a confident man gives them a sense of security - something that is programmed into their DNA.
Men respect other men for having a high level of confidence because hard work speaks for itself - men respect other men that work hard.
I could tell that having this talk with my nephew made him uncomfortable. He was quiet and had his chin buried into his chest. I looked over at him, picked his chin up and said to him "keep your head up kid because I believe in you, you just need to believe in you".
I then asked him how he was feeling and he said "pissed off!". My immediate response was "Good! Do you know what you have to do?", he responded "work..."
This was his lesson for the day.
The only way I have found any kind of success at reaching my goals is by having an edge and being pissed off. Pissed off that this kid thinks he can beat me - pissed off because this person thinks they're smarter than me - pissed off knowing that idiot makes more money than me!
The only way I continue to set new goals and achieve new things is by being pissed off and hating the thought of losing. I genuinely feel like I HAVE to figure out whatever it is that I set my mind to. This mentality is what keeps me hungry for information, working to reach new levels, and continuing to set new goals.
As soon as my nephew and I got back from his practice, we walked inside and he immediately hit 50 pushups. It's not even 12 o'clock and the kid has already completed 180 pushups, gone to practice, drank two protein shakes, and listing some of his used hockey gear online to try and make money.
I am truly blessed to have him in life and see him grow into an exceptional man one day.
This kid is going to be great...