Dating in the modern world has become increasingly more difficult.
Being as that we live in an attention driven economy, most people in the modern world are seeking for attention one way or another.
Whether it is liking and commenting on peoples posts on social media or producing content to promote a business, attention is the most sought after commodity in the world today.
Attention can be tricky, however, especially when it comes to dating.
With platforms like social media, our ability to have access to anyone in the world at any given time has made giving and recieving attention the easiest its ever been.
The problem that most people have when it comes to recieving attention is not knowing how to deal with it.
In other words, recieving any sort of attention can be seen as a form of flattery in the eyes of the one recieving the attention.
Another way attention can be tricky is when people admit to not caring about recieving attention.
The reason why this can be tricky is because most of the time when someone says they don’t care to recieve attention, it is almost always not true.
We are all narcissists to a degree and we are all seeking validation or attention from someone in some way, shape, or form.
So when someone tells you they don’t want attention, yet they are liking and commenting on random peoples posts on social media or messaging random people in their DMs because they find them attractive, this is a sign that they are seeking validation from other people.
Because if someone truly didn’t want or care to recieve attention, they wouldn’t be expressing validation to others by liking other peoples posts or responding to random messages in their DMs.
This is why it is always important, especially for dating in the modern world, to always pay closer attention to peoples actions over their words.
Words can be flattering, and for most people, verbal reassurance can be enough to make them feel wanted.
This, however, is also why most people struggle with giving and recieving attention.
While it might not seem like a big deal to you, the effects of seeking validation and recieiving attention have an interesting effect on the human psyche, especially when giving and recieving attention has been made easier now than any point in human history.
The way we handle recieiving attention is ultimately going to effect our selection process when it comes to finding a life partner.
The more people we subconcsiously enjoy recieving validation from, the less likely we are to value the attention of one particular person.
It is important to note that some people are naturally going to recieve more attention from others.
The modern world is hyper-focused on short term gratification and valuing other peoples looks and social status more than peoples actual value systems in life.
This is why when it comes to choosing a partner to share your life with, having a clear intention on the kind of attention you give and recieve from others is important.
We must be highly selective with who we choose to give attention to and recieve attention from if we ever plan on having something genuine over the long term with another person.
Just because you find someone attractive doesn’t serve as a strong enough basis to be willing to give attention to that person.
When you begin to value real values in life, it isn’t until you meet someone who shares those same values that they become worthy of recieving attention from you.
The most important piece to gather from this is to always pay close attention to the things people do.
We all like to think and express we are someone that we are not.
Of course it all sounds good to tell the world that we are people who value tradtitional values, but if we do not live by the words that we speak, then the words become meaningless.
If someone tells you they are “traditional” in their values and they are liking and commenting on other peoples posts they find attractive, replying to random DMs, and posting promiscuous content online, then what they say doesn’t align with what they do.
Always remember to pay close attention to peoples actions in the selective process.
The harder you make it for people to get your attention, the more people will have to work to gain your attention.
People must be able to prove to you that they are worthy of your attention.
But if you are freely giving out your attention to anyone you might think is worthy, the less valuable your attention naturally becomes.