We have all heard the phrase, "actions speak louder than words", or at least I hope you have heard that phrase before.
What do we know about words?
Well for starters, we know that words can be persuasive.
Words have the ability to be manipulated in such a way to create a feeling within someone else hearing those words.
Let's take a salesman for an example: what is the sole purpose of a salesman?
You guessed it - to sell shit.
A good salesman has a way of being able to communicate and convey a message to others that can create a feeling within another person and that feeling is trust.
The more a salesman can get people to trust in what he is selling, the more he is going to sell.
A good salesman knows how to create desire in the individuals he is selling to, and that desire is ultimately what convinces people to purchase.
When people are so focused on their wants, they will buy just about anything and this is why words can have so much power.
We can use relationships as our next example because a relationship, especially in modern culture, is something most people can relate to some degree.
How many times have you gotten into a relationship with someone and them tell you everything that you want to hear, just for them to turn it against you at a later time?
In the beginning, it is natural for people to be more persuasive because everything is new with someone.
It is almost as if people are trying to sell themselves or sell a certain story about themselves to convince you that they are who they say that they are.
In a world that is currently driven by attention and short term gratification, most people are never who they say that they are.
This is the power of words because all it takes is a microgram of trust for people to believe that you are who you say that you are.
This is also why I personally take everything that people tell me with a grain of salt.
Given my personal experience, whether it be in relationships, friendships, or the years of entertainment, the thousands of interactions I have had with people have given me a keen sense of what could be seen as genuine, and not genuine.
I have written posts in the past about how you can develop better communication skills with various tactics, and while I will not be going in depth about that today, it is important to note that your communication skills can always be better.
The reason why I choose to take everything that people tell me with a grain of salt is because I have consciously and subconsciously programmed my brain to look at behavior and seek out common behavior patterns.
This is what happens when you meet a shit ton of people, you learn to pay attention to the things that they do, not the things that they say.
This doesn't mean you completely disregard what someone is saying, but the objective truth about what they are saying needs to be seen.
This is why actions speak louder than words, because who somebody is behind closed doors and the story they try and convince you with are often two different things.
What somebody does behind closed doors is their character - who they are when no-one is around watching.
They can sit there and tell you a story of butterflies and unicorns with rainbows coming out of their ass, but the proof remains to be seen.
The question now becomes: how can you tell if someone is telling the truth?
The answer to this is relatively simple and you may not like the answer, but simply just pay attention.
When someone is confident, structured, and committed, their actions will be more than clear to you that they are who they say they are.
Some people might argue and say "I have met people like that and they still screwed me over".
My response to this is: no no, you had your blinders on and refused to take them off because feelings of excitement got in the way.
That what words do - excite people, and build a false sense of trust.
Real trust is something that needs to be earned by others who consistently show up when your back is up against the wall.
Consistently showing up is action because it shows commitment.
There may be ladies out there that are looking for good men and not sure what to look for or even where to look.
While I have said it a million times, if you truly focus on being the kind of woman for the man you're looking for, God will bring him to you.
However, if you are not focused on being the kind of woman for that kind of man, you will never know what to do or where to look.
So, let's say you have done the work and you meet a man who you like and you want to know he's not full of shit.
A couple things that you could look at are the things that he is committed to - committed to a strict workout program, committed to education, committed to family, committed to bettering himself etc.
Another thing to look at would be his friends because who he spends the most time around will tell you everything you need to know about him.
Does he have true loyal friends?
Or does he have friends that are douchebags?
For the men out there, I will say it is tough searching for a woman that is truthful and authentic in today's culture, but there are some things that I have discovered that will be of use when searching for a lady counterpart.
First things first, you need to ask yourself "am I a man that is worthy of having a loving, loyal, and supportive wife?"
In other words, are you showing up for yourself every single day to make yourself into a better man or not?
Because if the answer is "no", then you have work to do.
One way you can tell if a woman is who she says she is, is by her level of interest.
If her interest in you is hot and cold, chances are that you're not the only man she is talking to.
Women that are objectively feminine are not juggling handfuls of men at one time.
If she is talking to you and she is only talking to you, she will be tunnel vision focused on you, period.
If she says she's only talking to you and then ghosts you for a couple of days, but she's still out with her "girlfriends" and posting on her social media, she's not just talking to you.
Much like what I said for women, you can tell if a woman is who she says she is by her friends.
If her friends are her family or other objectively feminine women, then you can bet that she is who she says she is.
If her friends are all single and promiscuous, or married and unhappy, you can most likely bet that she is not who she says she is.
Women that are objectively feminine never have anything to hide and will always be true to themselves because it is their core belief system.
This is why you must be able to live in your truth because the truth is the only path to fulfillment.
Words mean nothing unless the things they do actually support what they are claiming to be truth.
Always remember, leaders lead by example.