I think the biggest reason why men lack so much confidence is due to a lack of purpose.
Having a purpose as a man is extremely important because a purpose is what drives people to get out of bed in the morning and do what they have to do to become the best versions of themselves.
When you set goals in your life, it is only through achievement that one begins to gain confidence.
The consistent work coupled with delayed gratification is where men are born.
A lot of men struggle today with women and lack the confidence they need to be a man, get her attention, prove to her that he is a man of commitment, and treat her like a lady.
Fortunately for me, talking to women is what I have done for many years for a living and I can share with you the things that I have found that have worked for me when trying to communicate to a woman and capture her interest.
Without further ado, these are my five steps on how to talk to a woman:
Step One: Be Confident
It should be to no ones surprise that this one be the first step when talking to a woman because this is the number one trait that women are attracted to the most.
Building confidence as a man may seem daunting because it requires a lot of hard work.
The best place to start is to get in good physical shape before anything else. Being in good shape requires hard work and consistency and it is something that you wear with you wherever you go. Women will take notice of it and respect you for it - so please, do yourselves a favor gentlemen and get in good shape first!
Men need confidence when speaking to women, period.
It is confidence that will allow you to walk up to her, ask for her name and start a simple conversation.
It is confidence that will prove to her that you are the man that you say you are and this is what will naturally make her want to get to know more about you.
Step Two: Eye Contact
Something as simple as eye contact can go a long way for a woman, especially if you are out in public.
Having direct eye contact with her when you speak to her conveys that you are only focused on her and that you are interested in what she has to say.
This doesn't mean that you stare into her soul, it just means that when you ask her something about herself, you look at her directly.
Having good eye contact directly stems off of having confidence because eye contact is an element of communication that most aren't aware of.
Unless I am having a deep one-on-one conversation and I am formulating an intricate thought, all eyes are on her. She will take notice and naturally feel more comfortable.
Step Three: Listen To Her
Let's be honest, at this point, every man knows women love to make everything about themselves.
Can you blame them? They are the best thing about life as a man!
When it comes to talking to a woman, especially for the first time or first couple of times, make it about her - ask her questions about her life, see the direction she sees her life going, etc. simple stuff.
But the key to making it about her is to listen to her. If you pay close attention to the things she says and how she says them, it will oftentimes tell you a lot about her.
Truly listening to a woman is one of the ways a man can genuinely tell if she is interested in him or not. For example, if you ask her about about what she does for a living and she somehow starts on a tangent about her ex boyfriends, run for the hills my guy - she isn't at all interested in you and that's okay, it is part of it.
Women naturally love talking about themselves and a confident man that asks her things about herself and makes points to the things she says, will naturally captivate her attention.
Step Four: Be Funny
This is something that I feel speaks for itself.
Having a sense of humor is the absolute best way to break any sort of a barrier a woman may have when talking to a man.
Having a good sense of humor makes you more personable and naturally keeps a woman engaged in the conversation.
If she spends all her time laughing, she has no time to reject you so start writing those jokes, my guy!
I realize that this is one of those things that is much easier said than done because not everyone has the ability to be funny. With that being said, I do think there are things that men could do to make themselves more funny and it all starts with having an idea of what you are going to say to her before you even say it.
If you get good at knowing what you are going to say before you say it, experience will naturally come along and you will be able to develop a sense of what they call quick wit.
Witty humor is something that women love because it displays a level of charisma.
Being quick on your feet for a comical response makes you much more engaging in a conversation.
Step Five: Be Charming, Don't Be Creepy
I have a rule when it comes to communicating and oftentimes it is how you say things that can make the difference between you coming off as charming or you coming off as a complete creep.
We can just start this one off by saying that women do not like creeps, so leave your old man perv jokes at home.
Charm is displayed in pretty much everything that we have discussed this far in the previous four steps.
If you are a man that is confident, has a sense of humor, looks and listens to her and the things she says, make points about things she says because you are interested in what she has to say, you will develop a good sense of charm.
Charm is not a tactic to woo women into getting them to sleep with you, it is an element that a man possesses that makes him more interesting to women.
Something as simple as making good eye contact with her or smiling at her can make you more charming as a man.
It is important to note that women love men that are interesting and have things to talk about.
The older I get, the more I realize just how attracted women are to a man that has the ability to use his brain. So it is important that a man not only work hard to build up his body, but he also builds up his mind and learns how to think.
All a man truly needs is confidence and a purpose to have a woman to want to be with him.
Sure, there is a small percentage of women out there that only chase looks or money, but these women have genuinely nothing to offer a man - trust me on this one.
This isn't about having whatever woman you want, it is about being the man you need to be so that you can pursue the woman you need.